05-02-2008, 12:06 AM
Today's topic is "Why women hate sex".
There is really only one problem on earth that men will never solve - not because they can't, because men can do anything, but its a trick question. Women hate sex.
Plain and simple. Why you ask?
Do you think its some primative social purism that has been stored into their DNA? Are they guilty about fucking, something they were told never to do when they were young and living at home? Are they afraid their lover will bed them and then kick them to the curb? That by the way, is my recommended method, but I digress. No, women hate sex simply because they don't know how to do it. They are terrible at it.
You may be thinking, wtf Flumper? Why would you say that. Well, I can back up this theory with science. Documented proof. Next time you go into a grocery store, which we know is a fucking game preserve for women who are in the "fucking age group". Have you ever noticed the magazines that these women buy? Look at the covers. "Fifteen ways to not be a total disaster in bed", "Seven things you can do to your man that don't involve laying there in a coma", "Sure fire method to keep your man from only fucking you when he's drunk". Seriously? This is how they advertise to get these women to buy their magazines?
I think that we men have trained ourselves to accept substandard merchandise. We've actually taught ourselves to believe it when we hear a buddy say, "I've never had any bad pussy", "Damn, I bet she's a tiger in the sack". How about we be honest. This isn't some little league player we are talking about where we are happy if they don't trip over their shoe laces trying to run down a ball that just went right between their legs.
Men have got to start expecting what they are due. Men owe this to themselves because men have integrity. Something women wouldn't know anything about. Who gets out there on the side of the road in the middle of a moonless night and changes a flat tire? Men. Who sits in the car without even so much as offering to hold a flashlight? Women. And speaking of that, why do women suck so much at holding a flashlight. I guarantee, you can hand a woman a flashlight and within two minutes she'll be shining it into the sky for no fucking reason at all.
Discuss.
There is really only one problem on earth that men will never solve - not because they can't, because men can do anything, but its a trick question. Women hate sex.
Plain and simple. Why you ask?
Do you think its some primative social purism that has been stored into their DNA? Are they guilty about fucking, something they were told never to do when they were young and living at home? Are they afraid their lover will bed them and then kick them to the curb? That by the way, is my recommended method, but I digress. No, women hate sex simply because they don't know how to do it. They are terrible at it.
You may be thinking, wtf Flumper? Why would you say that. Well, I can back up this theory with science. Documented proof. Next time you go into a grocery store, which we know is a fucking game preserve for women who are in the "fucking age group". Have you ever noticed the magazines that these women buy? Look at the covers. "Fifteen ways to not be a total disaster in bed", "Seven things you can do to your man that don't involve laying there in a coma", "Sure fire method to keep your man from only fucking you when he's drunk". Seriously? This is how they advertise to get these women to buy their magazines?
I think that we men have trained ourselves to accept substandard merchandise. We've actually taught ourselves to believe it when we hear a buddy say, "I've never had any bad pussy", "Damn, I bet she's a tiger in the sack". How about we be honest. This isn't some little league player we are talking about where we are happy if they don't trip over their shoe laces trying to run down a ball that just went right between their legs.
Men have got to start expecting what they are due. Men owe this to themselves because men have integrity. Something women wouldn't know anything about. Who gets out there on the side of the road in the middle of a moonless night and changes a flat tire? Men. Who sits in the car without even so much as offering to hold a flashlight? Women. And speaking of that, why do women suck so much at holding a flashlight. I guarantee, you can hand a woman a flashlight and within two minutes she'll be shining it into the sky for no fucking reason at all.
Discuss.
