03-21-2005, 10:27 PM
Prolly old and allread posted ...
I thought it funny .....
Subject: California's Secession
>
> California's secession letter to President Bush
>
> Dear President Bush:
>
> Congratulations on your victory.
>
> Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving.
> California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue
> States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,
>
> Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the
> North East
>
> We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to
> almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California.
>
> In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole
> country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know
> they need to be back in their states by then.
>
> So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the Governator,
>
> stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get
> Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep Martha Stewart, we can live with that.)
>
> We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and
> Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Old Miss'. We get
> 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the
> technological innovation in Alabama.
>
> We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red
> states pay their fair share. Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than
> the Christian coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
> bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that.
>
> Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies? But heck,
> the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big
> Macs. Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at
> your state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you.
> (Ouch, bet that hurts!)
>
> Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and
> anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States'citizens
> back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals.
>
> They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for
> absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of
> their kids' caskets coming home.
>
> Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope,
> really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction.
> Seriously. Soon.
>
> Sincerely,
> California
I thought it funny .....
Subject: California's Secession
>
> California's secession letter to President Bush
>
> Dear President Bush:
>
> Congratulations on your victory.
>
> Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving.
> California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue
> States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,
>
> Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the
> North East
>
> We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to
> almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California.
>
> In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole
> country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know
> they need to be back in their states by then.
>
> So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the Governator,
>
> stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get
> Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep Martha Stewart, we can live with that.)
>
> We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and
> Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Old Miss'. We get
> 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the
> technological innovation in Alabama.
>
> We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red
> states pay their fair share. Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than
> the Christian coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
> bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that.
>
> Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies? But heck,
> the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big
> Macs. Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at
> your state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you.
> (Ouch, bet that hurts!)
>
> Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and
> anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States'citizens
> back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals.
>
> They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for
> absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of
> their kids' caskets coming home.
>
> Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope,
> really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction.
> Seriously. Soon.
>
> Sincerely,
> California
Why do I keep this cesspool alive?
