02-16-2005, 07:37 AM
1. Sucker punch your boss.
2. Become a member of the Mile High Club, even if you have to do it alone.
3. Go to your high school reunion dressed as a homeless guy.
4. Shotgun a beer in less than 3 seconds.
5. Drink an entire keg of Guinness by yourself (no time limit).
6. Interview a female intern on a trampoline.
7. Make it through an entire porn video.
8. Kick some ass in a bar fight.
9. Watch 2 women bring each other to fake orgasm in person.
10. Learn all the words to "Louie, Louie".
11. Grow a handlebar mustache just to see if it might look good on you.
12. Hit a hole in one (with witnesses).
13. Hold audtions for a posse.
14. Have sex on your boss' desk. Don't clean up afterward.
15. Get banned from a casino.
16. Kick your dad's ass.
17. Put all the money you have in the world down on a blackjack table. (This should be the very last thing you do before you die).
18. Have an all night orgy with all your ex-girlfriends, then present a trophy to the Most Improved Lady.
19. Make Mike Tyson flinch when he's old and punch-drunk.
20. Restore a classic car.
21. Wake up in a gutter.
22. Catch a home run at a baseball game, even if it's just batting practice.
23. Drive cross-country without a map.
24. Sit in the stands at Lambeau Field in December without a shirt.
25. Invite friends over for dinner, then mail them a bill for everything they ate.
26. Pick up a piece of roadkill with a stick and chase a child with it.
27. Secretly record your girlfriend having an orgasm. Then put it on the outgoing message of your answering machine.
28. Make double the salary your father did. If you can triple it, hire him as your personal valet.
29. Get drunk and cut someone's hair.
30. Play a hurtful, unfunny practical joke on an office rival, where apologizing for an earlier unfunny practical joke is part of the gag.
31. Own a house that has a basement bar and rec room.
32. Have sex in complete silence, with your in-laws in the next room.
33. Teach a monkey martial arts and then kick its ass.
34. Drink vodka in Moscow, smoke a cigar in Cuba, eat some Peking duck in Beijing, and take a dump in North Korea.
35. Secretly date two women who know each other.
36. Eat 8 White Castle hamburgers for lunch every day for a week.
37. Go to a strip club with your girlfriend and get her a lap dance.
38. Date a coworker, break up, and ride out the awkwardness.
39. Get a woman to pay you for sex. Or at least try.
40. Buy a round for a packed bar.
41. Be a guest voice on The Simpsons
42. Fart in the pool while having a conversation with your mother-in-law.
43. Go to an all-you-can-eat buffet the moment it opens and stay for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
44. Frequent a local bar so much they'll let you cash a paycheck there.
45. Call a cop a "doughnut eating fascist" to his face. When you get out of the hospital, send him a dozen doughnuts.
46. Run a marathon and stop at 26 bars along the way for refreshments.
47. Watch every second of every game of March Madness at a sports bar in Vegas.
48. Light a fire using only sticks.
49. Have sex with three different women in less than 36 hours.
50. Give TomFoolery your hot sister's phone number.
2. Become a member of the Mile High Club, even if you have to do it alone.
3. Go to your high school reunion dressed as a homeless guy.
4. Shotgun a beer in less than 3 seconds.
5. Drink an entire keg of Guinness by yourself (no time limit).
6. Interview a female intern on a trampoline.
7. Make it through an entire porn video.
8. Kick some ass in a bar fight.
9. Watch 2 women bring each other to fake orgasm in person.
10. Learn all the words to "Louie, Louie".
11. Grow a handlebar mustache just to see if it might look good on you.
12. Hit a hole in one (with witnesses).
13. Hold audtions for a posse.
14. Have sex on your boss' desk. Don't clean up afterward.
15. Get banned from a casino.
16. Kick your dad's ass.
17. Put all the money you have in the world down on a blackjack table. (This should be the very last thing you do before you die).
18. Have an all night orgy with all your ex-girlfriends, then present a trophy to the Most Improved Lady.
19. Make Mike Tyson flinch when he's old and punch-drunk.
20. Restore a classic car.
21. Wake up in a gutter.
22. Catch a home run at a baseball game, even if it's just batting practice.
23. Drive cross-country without a map.
24. Sit in the stands at Lambeau Field in December without a shirt.
25. Invite friends over for dinner, then mail them a bill for everything they ate.
26. Pick up a piece of roadkill with a stick and chase a child with it.
27. Secretly record your girlfriend having an orgasm. Then put it on the outgoing message of your answering machine.
28. Make double the salary your father did. If you can triple it, hire him as your personal valet.
29. Get drunk and cut someone's hair.
30. Play a hurtful, unfunny practical joke on an office rival, where apologizing for an earlier unfunny practical joke is part of the gag.
31. Own a house that has a basement bar and rec room.
32. Have sex in complete silence, with your in-laws in the next room.
33. Teach a monkey martial arts and then kick its ass.
34. Drink vodka in Moscow, smoke a cigar in Cuba, eat some Peking duck in Beijing, and take a dump in North Korea.
35. Secretly date two women who know each other.
36. Eat 8 White Castle hamburgers for lunch every day for a week.
37. Go to a strip club with your girlfriend and get her a lap dance.
38. Date a coworker, break up, and ride out the awkwardness.
39. Get a woman to pay you for sex. Or at least try.
40. Buy a round for a packed bar.
41. Be a guest voice on The Simpsons
42. Fart in the pool while having a conversation with your mother-in-law.
43. Go to an all-you-can-eat buffet the moment it opens and stay for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
44. Frequent a local bar so much they'll let you cash a paycheck there.
45. Call a cop a "doughnut eating fascist" to his face. When you get out of the hospital, send him a dozen doughnuts.
46. Run a marathon and stop at 26 bars along the way for refreshments.
47. Watch every second of every game of March Madness at a sports bar in Vegas.
48. Light a fire using only sticks.
49. Have sex with three different women in less than 36 hours.
50. Give TomFoolery your hot sister's phone number.
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