02-09-2005, 08:09 PM
[indent][b]Aries (March 21 - April 19) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]In a savage reaction against what you view as New Age Wooly-Mindedness, you will write a best-selling book titled I'm Ok, You're A Twerp. Later, people will often regard you as having "defined" the current decade. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Taurus (April 20 - May 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]High winds today. Good day to try out your new cement kite! [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Gemini (May 21 - June 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today, by practicing for hours in the mirror, you will finally be able to keep a "stiff upper lip." Much to everyone's surprise, it will prove to be an excellent boost to your career. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Cancer (June 21 - July 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will attain your dream of having your own cooking show, but it will become tiresome when you have to battle your way past people dressed as chickens to get into the studio each day. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Leo (July 23 - August 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Two people near you will engage in sudden, violent, rubber-band warfare. You will be caught in a crossfire, and severely thwapped. Next time, consider wearing protective headgear indoors. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Virgo (August 23 - September 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Tomorrow when you wake up, many small objects on the carpet will bring you to the alarming conclusion that you have a live rabbit in the house. Search though you may, however, you will be completely unable to find hide nor hare of it... [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Libra (September 22 - October 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today may fail to live up to your expectations, but remember: it's what it's not that makes it what it is. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today will be a complete waste of time. You will at least learn to spell "equaminity."..er..."equanimbity"...no...hmmm. You will learn to spell a word like that, today. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Your feet will continue to trouble you today, although you won't be quite able to put your finger on what's wrong. You haven't been that flexible in years. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today is the day you've been waiting for. Go around to everyone you know, and tell them you're terribly sorry. Give them a firm handclasp, and walk briskly away, with no further explanation. Tomorrow, deny ever doing such a thing, and question their sanity. If you keep people on their toes, they will have a richer, fuller life. That's thanks enough, I should think, for your efforts. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good time to remember that in the beginning was the word. And the word was "Aardvark." [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Pisces (February 19 - March 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Someone will attempt to get you to stay in one place today, by telling you that you are surrounded by 100 black poisonous snakes (which are invisible). You will make a daring escape, despite the risk involved. [/indent][/indent]
[/indent][indent][indent]In a savage reaction against what you view as New Age Wooly-Mindedness, you will write a best-selling book titled I'm Ok, You're A Twerp. Later, people will often regard you as having "defined" the current decade. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Taurus (April 20 - May 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]High winds today. Good day to try out your new cement kite! [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Gemini (May 21 - June 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today, by practicing for hours in the mirror, you will finally be able to keep a "stiff upper lip." Much to everyone's surprise, it will prove to be an excellent boost to your career. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Cancer (June 21 - July 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will attain your dream of having your own cooking show, but it will become tiresome when you have to battle your way past people dressed as chickens to get into the studio each day. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Leo (July 23 - August 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Two people near you will engage in sudden, violent, rubber-band warfare. You will be caught in a crossfire, and severely thwapped. Next time, consider wearing protective headgear indoors. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Virgo (August 23 - September 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Tomorrow when you wake up, many small objects on the carpet will bring you to the alarming conclusion that you have a live rabbit in the house. Search though you may, however, you will be completely unable to find hide nor hare of it... [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Libra (September 22 - October 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today may fail to live up to your expectations, but remember: it's what it's not that makes it what it is. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today will be a complete waste of time. You will at least learn to spell "equaminity."..er..."equanimbity"...no...hmmm. You will learn to spell a word like that, today. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Your feet will continue to trouble you today, although you won't be quite able to put your finger on what's wrong. You haven't been that flexible in years. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today is the day you've been waiting for. Go around to everyone you know, and tell them you're terribly sorry. Give them a firm handclasp, and walk briskly away, with no further explanation. Tomorrow, deny ever doing such a thing, and question their sanity. If you keep people on their toes, they will have a richer, fuller life. That's thanks enough, I should think, for your efforts. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good time to remember that in the beginning was the word. And the word was "Aardvark." [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Pisces (February 19 - March 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Someone will attempt to get you to stay in one place today, by telling you that you are surrounded by 100 black poisonous snakes (which are invisible). You will make a daring escape, despite the risk involved. [/indent][/indent]
