RACK my mimic thread skill.
you should really stop using them to clean up with after rubbing one out.
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Use her best silk blouse then tell her the kid blew his nose on it. The kid gets in trouble and the wife is pissed, so you can go play video games.
Don't forget to add a few ripe boogers for visual effect.
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?