07-26-2004, 07:08 PM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Someone will make a joke at lunch that you don't get, you will laugh anyway. Ask your 10 yr old neighbor, he gets it
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will run over a six year olds invisible friend today, traumatizing her for life. Later she will marry into your family for revenge.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
In an effort to understand the minds of dogs better you stick your head out of the window whlie driving today. This will really annoy your bus driver
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
A group of ducks will waddle towards you in a threatening manner today. Leave the bagel on the ground and back away slowly.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Pigeons will target you today. Try not to look up with your mouth open.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Deciding that 99% is not enough. you will become obsessed with killing all of the germs in your bathroom today. Try napalm.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Ewe'll hava hardtime unnerstanning wat peeopl said at you twodey
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good day to pick up a foreign language. No one will notice the difference.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) You will find yourself getting turned on by the strangest things today. It's OK, I don't think anyone noticed the way you were staring at the traffic cone in the road.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
In an effort to garner more respect from your coworkers you will forward them all a chain-email telling them how much you appreciate them and that they should pass it on and send it back to you.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
The stars are aligned perfectly. You're day couldn't get any better, everything you do will come out right... wait, I had that upside down. Never mind.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Be very careful today. I can't say much more now than "the walls have ears, and eyes". I'll explain later.
Someone will make a joke at lunch that you don't get, you will laugh anyway. Ask your 10 yr old neighbor, he gets it
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will run over a six year olds invisible friend today, traumatizing her for life. Later she will marry into your family for revenge.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
In an effort to understand the minds of dogs better you stick your head out of the window whlie driving today. This will really annoy your bus driver
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
A group of ducks will waddle towards you in a threatening manner today. Leave the bagel on the ground and back away slowly.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Pigeons will target you today. Try not to look up with your mouth open.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Deciding that 99% is not enough. you will become obsessed with killing all of the germs in your bathroom today. Try napalm.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Ewe'll hava hardtime unnerstanning wat peeopl said at you twodey
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good day to pick up a foreign language. No one will notice the difference.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) You will find yourself getting turned on by the strangest things today. It's OK, I don't think anyone noticed the way you were staring at the traffic cone in the road.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
In an effort to garner more respect from your coworkers you will forward them all a chain-email telling them how much you appreciate them and that they should pass it on and send it back to you.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
The stars are aligned perfectly. You're day couldn't get any better, everything you do will come out right... wait, I had that upside down. Never mind.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Be very careful today. I can't say much more now than "the walls have ears, and eyes". I'll explain later.
