05-12-2010, 04:29 AM
I had to go to an event today where the hosts have a genuine retard for a daughter. Not one of those every day retarded bitches I fuck, but one of those clinically retarded special shoes wearing whores. She was about 6'1 200lbs.
She followed me around for about 15 minutes asking me all sorts of idiotic questions. At first it was amusing. I asked her to spit shine my shoes. She oblidged as I sat in a recliner, in a living room full of about 20 or so people. She was on her hands and knees polishing my shoes with one of her fathers ties. I laughed. No one else did.
I was asked to leave....so I did but not before grabbing a bottle of vodka and walking out of the house with it. The retarded girls father chased me out into his driveway and demanded I return the stolen vodka. I said what vodka. He started cursing at me and I think he was planning on hitting me but I threw his vodka into the neighbors bushes and got into my car. The retarded girl then ran out of the house yelling "SPIT SHINE SHOES". I drove away.
This was the worst funeral I've ever went to. Not one hot bitch at the wake.
-SporK
She followed me around for about 15 minutes asking me all sorts of idiotic questions. At first it was amusing. I asked her to spit shine my shoes. She oblidged as I sat in a recliner, in a living room full of about 20 or so people. She was on her hands and knees polishing my shoes with one of her fathers ties. I laughed. No one else did.
I was asked to leave....so I did but not before grabbing a bottle of vodka and walking out of the house with it. The retarded girls father chased me out into his driveway and demanded I return the stolen vodka. I said what vodka. He started cursing at me and I think he was planning on hitting me but I threw his vodka into the neighbors bushes and got into my car. The retarded girl then ran out of the house yelling "SPIT SHINE SHOES". I drove away.
This was the worst funeral I've ever went to. Not one hot bitch at the wake.
-SporK
Pre-order my book. I've written a bunch of material and we're currently shopping around for a publisher.
-SPorK
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