[Velvet]

:matrix: use that or do this

[halfasleep]

Originally posted by velvet@Apr 21 2004, 12:29 PM
:matrix: use that or do this

Cool!

I do not have an electronic copy of this... we all keep hardcopies of that hanging around here for our normal workday!!! :p


We also keep a photocopy of our hand on a nearby wall.
Why?
"In case of good job, lean against wall!"
(Patting ourselves on the back, in other words...)

[Velvet]

Sounds like the people have a very good sense of humour where you work halfasleep

[halfasleep]

Originally posted by velvet@Apr 21 2004, 12:51 PM
Sounds like the people have a very good sense of humour where you work halfasleep

YOU HAVE TO!!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lol:

[halfasleep]

Office happenings (from the archive)...

Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".

Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you."

A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves.A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired."

My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That's because it's unfamiliar territory.

My Boss said to me, "What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.

My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain.

I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too ... but at least I respect him.

He's given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.

Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.

Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a task force he created to find a solution: "I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!"

HR Manager to job candidate "I see you've had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you're under-qualified for our entry level positions."

Quote from telephone inquiry "We're only hiring one summer intern this year and we won't start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss' daughter finishes her summer classes.

[halfasleep]

But wait! There's more!!!

Virus Warning
This virus warning is genuine. There is a new virus going around, called “work.” If you receive any sort of “work” at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague.... DO NOT OPEN IT. This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open “work” or even look at “work” have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter “work” via email or are faced with any “work” at all, then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words “I've had enough of your crap... I'm off to the pub.” The “work” should automatically be forgotten by your brain. If you receive “work” in paper- document form, simply lift the document and drag the “work” to your garbage can. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer (or rum punch). After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that “work” will no longer be of any relevance to you and that “Scooby Doo” was the greatest cartoon ever.

[War]

thats a nice kit. but fixing the wall after a hard day is not fun with that. thats why i use them as shalves and holders. B) . and nice little dude velvet.

[Velvet]

Lmao halfasleep you have an opening where you work ? :lmao:

[Hambone]

I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too ... but at least I respect him.

Damn I am the boss

[halfasleep]

Originally posted by velvet@Apr 21 2004, 01:38 PM
Lmao halfasleep you have an opening where you work ? :lmao:

Yeah... but I wouldn't wish it on my friends!!!! :p :lol:

[Beaucephus]

I need one of those for work I am printing that shit out right now.