03-16-2005, 07:41 PM
[indent][b]Aries (March 21 - April 19) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Things haven't been going well for you lately, and you're sinking into a fairly ugly bit of self-pity. You merely need to count your blessings! (1) You've got a tremendous talent, which some day may be in demand, (2) You're almost normal -- LOTS of people have extra appendages, (3)... [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Taurus (April 20 - May 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You've been yodelling in your sleep, again. Is it any wonder that you've been having trouble with your romantic relationships? [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Gemini (May 21 - June 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good day to use the expression "just dandy" as much as possible. Tomorrow: "okey dokey" day. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Cancer (June 21 - July 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good day to put a few kumquats, some of those teensy little ears of corn, and a few brussels sprouts in a tiny little bowl, and leave it on someone's doorstep with a tiny little note reading "Dear Big People...." [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Leo (July 23 - August 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will join the ranks of the hipster cognoscienti. It'll be fun at first, but later you'll start secretly craving casseroles, and it will eventually become such an intolerable pressure that you'll abandon your pale, pierced friends with the clever haircuts and move to Minnesota. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Virgo (August 23 - September 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good day to begin making a monster costume. Be sure to make it nice and comfy, since you will discover that you actually enjoy lounging around in it. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Libra (September 22 - October 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will feel tired and run-down today. This may possibly be because of the marathon you ran yesterday, and the taxi that ran into you near the finish line. Just a guess. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today you will find yourself boldly charging through life. That can actually get you in trouble, though, so you should really attempt to pay with cash. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will be struck by an odd thought, today. Fortunately it will be only a glancing blow, and will do little actual damage. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Go find something flat, and scribble on it. People have been doing that for tens of thousands of years, and it's mostly been ok. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Small fluffy animals will come over and lean on you, today. It's just their way of showing their appreciation, and of telling you that you are furniture. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Pisces (February 19 - March 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Due to forces beyond comprehension, you will begin talking with a Texas accent. Eventually, you'll come out with audio tapes to teach this to others, which you will call "Bubba-Bonics." [/indent][/indent]
[/indent][indent][indent]Things haven't been going well for you lately, and you're sinking into a fairly ugly bit of self-pity. You merely need to count your blessings! (1) You've got a tremendous talent, which some day may be in demand, (2) You're almost normal -- LOTS of people have extra appendages, (3)... [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Taurus (April 20 - May 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You've been yodelling in your sleep, again. Is it any wonder that you've been having trouble with your romantic relationships? [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Gemini (May 21 - June 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good day to use the expression "just dandy" as much as possible. Tomorrow: "okey dokey" day. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Cancer (June 21 - July 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good day to put a few kumquats, some of those teensy little ears of corn, and a few brussels sprouts in a tiny little bowl, and leave it on someone's doorstep with a tiny little note reading "Dear Big People...." [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Leo (July 23 - August 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will join the ranks of the hipster cognoscienti. It'll be fun at first, but later you'll start secretly craving casseroles, and it will eventually become such an intolerable pressure that you'll abandon your pale, pierced friends with the clever haircuts and move to Minnesota. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Virgo (August 23 - September 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good day to begin making a monster costume. Be sure to make it nice and comfy, since you will discover that you actually enjoy lounging around in it. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Libra (September 22 - October 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will feel tired and run-down today. This may possibly be because of the marathon you ran yesterday, and the taxi that ran into you near the finish line. Just a guess. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today you will find yourself boldly charging through life. That can actually get you in trouble, though, so you should really attempt to pay with cash. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will be struck by an odd thought, today. Fortunately it will be only a glancing blow, and will do little actual damage. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Go find something flat, and scribble on it. People have been doing that for tens of thousands of years, and it's mostly been ok. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Small fluffy animals will come over and lean on you, today. It's just their way of showing their appreciation, and of telling you that you are furniture. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Pisces (February 19 - March 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Due to forces beyond comprehension, you will begin talking with a Texas accent. Eventually, you'll come out with audio tapes to teach this to others, which you will call "Bubba-Bonics." [/indent][/indent]
