[what?]

Story time real quick. You need to know up front that Mrs. what? and I are trying to have some little what?s, which dictates a little more sex than she would really like to have with me (I'm pretty bad at it, but at least I'm fast).

Anyway, on Saturday mornings she'll typically get up earlier than me and when it's nice out she'll sit on the porch of our condo and have coffee and read the paper. Whenever she wants my lazy ass to do something, she comes to wake me up. I badgered her for sex as I normally do, and this particular morning she caved. So I roll over on top of her and we commence to copulating. I'm doing some pretty good work if I do say so myself, when my wife looks up at me with love in her eyes and says to me:

"The back door's open."

Now might be a good time to mention that our condo shares a porch with unit next door, and the family that lives there has a 4 year old that will knock and/or just wander into our house whenever he sees us home. Maybe that should have crossed my mind that Saturday morning. But it didn't, and instead I'm trying to stuff the ol' short-n-skinny into wifey's browneye while casually mentioning (have you ever tried to sound casual while trying to anally violate someone?) "baby, you're not gonna get pregnant that way". Before I can break through (side not, I don't believe you could drive a straight pin up my wife's ass with a ball peen hammer), she winds up and swings at me from underneath the mattress with a right cross that damn near knocks me off of her.

"NO JACKASS!!! THE BACK DOOR!! TO THE HOUSE! IT'S OPEN!!! THE NEIGHBORS MIGHT WALK IN!!"









Constructive critcism is welcomed.

[TomFoolery]

So did you put it in the butt?

[what?]

So did you put it in the butt?

refer to the side note about the straight pin not fitting even if struck with a ball peen hammer.



yes :$

[SanDog]

You mean when he came to?

[snarg]

ya gotta know when to keep yer mouth shut, what?

narg:

[Anhil8tor]

I'd say more lube

[TomFoolery]

I don't have any constructive criticism. I like the story though. Funny stuff.

[asshat]

:loool: Very good. HAHAHAHA.



Is your wife hot?

[what?]

Is your wife hot?

she's a lot hotter than I am

[cLaY]

if the donate function worked (we'll blame this on tom) i'd give you all my points what?...funny stuff

[SanDog]

she's a lot hotter than I am

Then again, she'd have to be.

[what?]

snarg and 8 offered some good tips - but I don't think my getting knocked cross-eyed had anything to do with my pointing out the contraceptive benefits of anal sex or with insufficient lubrication. So I think even if I kept mute and coated her ass in WD-40 first I'd still have been sucker punched.

Hypothetically, if the neighbor kid had walked in, what should I have done?

Then again, she'd have to be.

correct Dog, that'd be a tough race to lose

[SanDog]

snarg and 8 offered some good tips - but I don't think my getting knocked cross-eyed had anything to do with my pointing out the contraceptive benefits of anal sex or with insufficient lubrication. So I think even if I kept mute and coated her ass in WD-40 first I'd still have been sucker punched.

Hypothetically, if the neighbor kid had walked in, what should I have done?

Move out of the way and give him a turn?

[what?]

Move out of the way and give him a turn?

I don't think he'd be strong enough to push through the fudge-pucker, she was pretty against it..

[snarg]

I don't think he'd be strong enough to push through the fudge-pucker, she was pretty against it..

the damn kid was four yrs old
how big could his pecker be??

narg:

[SanDog]

the damn kid was four yrs old
how big could his pecker be??

narg:

I am going to say bigger than what?

[what?]

the damn kid was four yrs old
how big could his pecker be??

narg:

I really have no idea. But I couldn't get thru, and he stands a chance of it being bigger than mine. Plus, I'm a good bit bigger in terms of body size, and should be able to push harder. But who knows, maybe she wouldn't have fought so hard against him. *shrug*

[snarg]

I really have no idea. But I couldn't get thru, and he stands a chance of it being bigger than mine. Plus, I'm a good bit bigger in terms of body size, and should be able to push harder. But who knows, maybe she wouldn't have fought so hard against him. *shrug*

i would guess that with a 4 yr old behind there she would not tense up the sphincter

plus, when yer four, yer dick is about as big as a goldfish

therefore i think the kid would have a good shot at gettin in the poop chute

just sayin'

narg"

[what?]

i would guess that with a 4 yr old behind there she would not tense up the sphincter

plus, when yer four, yer dick is about as big as a goldfish

therefore i think the kid would have a good shot at gettin in the poop chute

just sayin'

narg: <---FTFY

next time she and I play dress up, I'm totally gonna be a four-year-old

[what?]

misfired ass sex :"::