02-07-2005, 09:08 PM
[indent][b]Aries (March 21 - April 19) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good day to make sure you are prepared for a big earthquake. Get bottled water, a first-aid kit, canned food, flashlights, transistor radio, sturdy hiking boots, and a feather boa. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Taurus (April 20 - May 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will be able to get out of doing an unpleasant task today, by pretending you are a chicken. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Gemini (May 21 - June 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will have an odd dream in which a stadium filled with dogs looks on while a group of wiry runners chases a bunny around a track. The bunny will be Miss April, I believe. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Cancer (June 21 - July 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will discover a horror almost beyone imagining today -- your home is inhabited by the ghost of an insurance salesman. Who you gonna call? [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Leo (July 23 - August 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Excellent day to crouch behind furniture, and peer over the top. If you can do that while wearing one of those Groucho Marx noses, so much the better. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Virgo (August 23 - September 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Your ancestors were berserkers -- feared warriors who attacked without fear or common sense. You will soon enter the same state of mind, and when you finally "snap out of it", you will find an enormous pile of peeled potatoes and family members edging towards the door. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Libra (September 22 - October 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]This is a good day to bake. Cinnamon rolls would be good. Or perhaps some crusty bread. If you follow my advice, you will make friends and influence people. Otherwise a horrifying fate awaits you. No pressure, though. Do what you feel is right for you. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You're fussing with your hair too much. Perhaps you should temporarily cut back on shampoo. Or at least demand real poo. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]This week, try to live your life based on the ad copy of a men's cologne. For example: "The mood of the sea, and the spirit of the wind" (Cool Water, by Davidoff) Or perhaps: "Disturb the equilibrium" (Catalyst for Men, by Halston) [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today, someone named "Svlad" will appear at your door, carrying a large inflatable penguin and a bag of pistachio nuts. Despite your better judgement, you will let him in. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today you will find a bumper sticker that truly defines your sentiments. It will say "Buy More Socks!." [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Pisces (February 19 - March 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today will be especially trying, and if you're not careful, you could end up in a pretty grumpy frame of mind. Take precautions! Wear your E.T. underwear. [/indent][/indent]
[/indent][indent][indent]Good day to make sure you are prepared for a big earthquake. Get bottled water, a first-aid kit, canned food, flashlights, transistor radio, sturdy hiking boots, and a feather boa. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Taurus (April 20 - May 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will be able to get out of doing an unpleasant task today, by pretending you are a chicken. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Gemini (May 21 - June 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will have an odd dream in which a stadium filled with dogs looks on while a group of wiry runners chases a bunny around a track. The bunny will be Miss April, I believe. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Cancer (June 21 - July 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You will discover a horror almost beyone imagining today -- your home is inhabited by the ghost of an insurance salesman. Who you gonna call? [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Leo (July 23 - August 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Excellent day to crouch behind furniture, and peer over the top. If you can do that while wearing one of those Groucho Marx noses, so much the better. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Virgo (August 23 - September 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Your ancestors were berserkers -- feared warriors who attacked without fear or common sense. You will soon enter the same state of mind, and when you finally "snap out of it", you will find an enormous pile of peeled potatoes and family members edging towards the door. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Libra (September 22 - October 22) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]This is a good day to bake. Cinnamon rolls would be good. Or perhaps some crusty bread. If you follow my advice, you will make friends and influence people. Otherwise a horrifying fate awaits you. No pressure, though. Do what you feel is right for you. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]You're fussing with your hair too much. Perhaps you should temporarily cut back on shampoo. Or at least demand real poo. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]This week, try to live your life based on the ad copy of a men's cologne. For example: "The mood of the sea, and the spirit of the wind" (Cool Water, by Davidoff) Or perhaps: "Disturb the equilibrium" (Catalyst for Men, by Halston) [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today, someone named "Svlad" will appear at your door, carrying a large inflatable penguin and a bag of pistachio nuts. Despite your better judgement, you will let him in. [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today you will find a bumper sticker that truly defines your sentiments. It will say "Buy More Socks!." [/indent][/indent][indent][b]Pisces (February 19 - March 20) [/b]
[/indent][indent][indent]Today will be especially trying, and if you're not careful, you could end up in a pretty grumpy frame of mind. Take precautions! Wear your E.T. underwear. [/indent][/indent]
narg: