01-10-2008, 06:56 PM
HOW TO INSTALL A RED NECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size14-16 work
boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim,
I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit
Bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up
real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from
all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better
wait outside.
"Cooter"
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size14-16 work
boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim,
I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit
Bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up
real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from
all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better
wait outside.
"Cooter"
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.