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I did something very amusing. (for me, not her)
Can you guess what it is?
Hint: It was A+ Material
Pre-order my book. I've written a bunch of material and we're currently shopping around for a publisher.
![[Image: attachment.php?attachmentid=9892&stc=1]](http://www.ownster.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=9892&stc=1)
-SPorK
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called her by her sisters name while gettin it on huh.
Harvester of Cunt Nectar,
Sons of Cunnilingus member
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Dumb fucks. Story time:
I picked up this slut on the internet cause E-dating is the shit..especially when they send u 2 year old pictures...but seriously...this bitch's picture was hot so I decided to meet up with her. I told her I'd meet her in Dunkin Donuts by her house as she doesn't live very far. Fast forward 2 hours: I park in the DD parking lot and call her, telling her to come outside cause I'm lost (she thinks I live in jersey). She does. She looks like her picture. Approved. I tell her I'll be there in 15 minutes.
Quick background info: Typical ditzy annoying slutty above average looking whore with nothing to talk about. The I'm a huge bitch but I won't be so bitchy to you because I just met you and maybe you're rich so instead I'll tell you about how much of a bitch I am to all other men so you can feel special cause I'm so hot and interesting and I've never sniffed coke or gotten drunk and gangbanged even though I fit the description 100% type.
We meet up, exchange greetings, she's thrilled I'm not a serial murderer yada yada yada. I order myself some coffee, ask her if she got any money on her, she says no (lying fucking whore) so I ended up having to buy my own coffee. I think she wanted some too but I didn't ask. Fast foward another hour, we're in the backseat of my car, she wants to fuck, I don't - so I use the I have no condoms routine - plz give me head you worthless slut. It works.
Prior to letting her suck my cock, I force her to open her mouth and inspect it (something I've formed a habit of doing prior to recieving oralsex) for sores, warts and other gross shit. She checks out. So I strech out and shes slobbering the old knob...not half bad either but I could tell she was holding back a little...probably something about me wanting to check her gums and lips for warts or not having condoms - good thing she didnt check the glove box.
Anyway, I'm getting ready to give her some semen so I inform her that I'll be cumming in her mouth soon...she stops! WTF! She then fucking "WARNS" me not to come in her mouth...can you believe that shit? The bitch has the audecity to fucking warn me...so I ask her where the fuck she thinks I'm going to be cumming...she asks me if I have rags but I don't...at least not inside the cabin and I'll be fucking damned if I'm going to go and get them from the trunk. Fuck that ho, back to sucking. So I tell her I could cum on her face and then give her a rag to whipe down after...she doesn't like this idea and again WARNS me not to come on her face! She tells me to cum on the backseat! WTF? I care more about this backseat than I do about her life...there is no fucking way I am going to cum on the backseat because of this slut. So then she has a great idea...the fucking 1 and a half, paper thin, Dunkin Donut napkins that are lodged in the cupholder under my coffee cup...sigh...obviously I know this won't work but there is very little time to decide...so I grab the napkins and she sucks me off into them. The napkins fail to hold and semen spills onto my backseat...I look at her...and she says "OOPS"...OOPS? Are you fucking serious? This infuriates me. With little hesitation, I grab the cumfilled napkins and smear them all over her face with ample force! She pushes me off and I release the napkin...as they drop to the floor I see her...pissed off as all hell...cum, makeup and violence all over her face. I do the only thing I can...I begin to laugh uncontrolably.
The usual hell breaks loose...what the fuck? You fucking asshole! Fuck you! What do you think you're doing? Etc etc...you know the drill. This is followed by random bursts of arm swinging in the direction of my chest and face...you know the type...clenched fists flaling like that of a small child,trying to hit anything in sight. I do all I can to pull my pants up and then proceed to subdue her by pinning her to the seat with my weight...holding her arms together. She calms down a bit and I sort of look her in the eye and tell her to relax and make some small talk calling her baby...she looks back at me...and FUCKING SMILES! The bitch liked it! Can you believe this shit? While she's stilled pinned, we sort of talk it over and then I let her go...I force her to admit she liked it...she does but says it was very unexpected. She tells me she likes it rough. I am so fucking proud of myself. My ego is enormous. She tells me she's really turned on right now and asks me to eat her.
HAHAHAHA. Yeah. Right. When pigs fly and hell freezes over.
While that's what I thought, I didn't say it. I decide keeping this one around may prove useful for future entertainment and other hoey sluts. I tell that it's getting late and I'll do it another time as I have work in the morning - What work? She whines and moans and bitches about wtf is she gonna do and compares her situation to blueballs...this is unfair...she sucked my dick...blah blah blah. I ignore her and leave anyway without asking if she needed a ride home.
I was wrong about one thing - not only did she speak to me again...she wants to hang out real soon!
Who thinks she's going to try and get some of her guido friends to end my life prematurely? I do...but the stories that can yeild from this one are too good to pass up. We're going clubbing soon! ...I think.
- S p o r k
P.s. I am godlike.
P.p.s. Want more stories like this? Buy my book, asshole(s).
Pre-order my book. I've written a bunch of material and we're currently shopping around for a publisher.
-SPorK
(This post was last modified: 03-30-2006, 04:55 PM by
SporK.)
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Can we change sp-o-rks name back?Word filters are gay and Snargs to old to make decisions for himself.
See You In Toledo
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BIRD33 Wrote:Can we change sp-o-rks name back?Word filters are gay and Snargs to old to make decisions for himself.
At yer service ...
Why do I keep this cesspool alive?
I so wanna go drinking with Spork.
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Vitamin E Wrote:I so wanna go drinking with Spork.
I'm drinking .... :mellow:
Why do I keep this cesspool alive?
Blueeyedwoman
Unregistered
TomFoolery Wrote:I'm not entertained.
Ditto.
That is not the real SporK.
/thread
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Who calls the inside of their car a "cabin"?
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
Not believable. Why would a woman suck your dick?
the only thing that spork still doesn't know is the "arm trick" nothing violent it's compared to blow-judo-job, the chick got only the option to gooze it to the last drop.
anyhow that's not me that's a friend who told me his personal technique.
