[leucetios]

So I got to thinking this weekend. It doesn't always happen, and this is why:

It is a safe bet that god is a man. God made Adam in his own image, etc. You could claim he meant a humanoid form, except that Adam had genitals. Since there's no mention of Adam waking up with a dong when God put him to sleep so he could make Eve we can assume he had it all along.

Well this means God must also procreate like we do. If Adam is made in his image, and adam has cock and balls, then god must too. And why would god have sexual organs if not to have sex.

Lastly. God made Adam, but didn't give him an Eve. Now since we know God is a male of his species, and has sex, he must know about companionship. So why wouldn't he give Adam an Eve right off the bat? Simple: he thought Adam would be happier without Eve. You don't think like that unless you are in a bad relationship/marriage.

Ergo: God has a shitty marriage. Or at the least, a naggy bitch for a partner.

[Flumper Barflusterbutt]

Someone's been hitting the mushrooms.

[leucetios]

Someone's been hitting the mushrooms.

>_> My logic is sound

[ntype]

by my gf's father house there is this funny thing on a wall :

- god created the world then rested
- then he created the man and he rested
- later he created the woman and neither him or the man had any rest

[Bill]

So I got to thinking this weekend. It doesn't always happen, and this is why:

It is a safe bet that god is a man. God made Adam in his own image, etc. You could claim he meant a humanoid form, except that Adam had genitals. Since there's no mention of Adam waking up with a dong when God put him to sleep so he could make Eve we can assume he had it all along.

Well this means God must also procreate like we do. If Adam is made in his image, and adam has cock and balls, then god must too. And why would god have sexual organs if not to have sex.

Lastly. God made Adam, but didn't give him an Eve. Now since we know God is a male of his species, and has sex, he must know about companionship. So why wouldn't he give Adam an Eve right off the bat? Simple: he thought Adam would be happier without Eve. You don't think like that unless you are in a bad relationship/marriage.

Ergo: God has a shitty marriage. Or at the least, a naggy bitch for a partner.

I'm game smarty smart man but I'll take your observations a few steps furthur.

I agree, or at least it is written in the bible the way you spout it. Adam was created in God's image, cock and balls included. With that in mind, did adam have a belly button? If so why the fuck would God need a belly button? Was god "born"? and if so by whom?

Furthermore, after Adam and Eve ate from the tree of life (genesis 3:22 = And the Lord God said, Behold the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil...) Who the fuck is "us"?

on a side note, depending on what version of the bible you use Genesis has some very interesting differences cause in some versions Genesis 1:26 reads: And God said, "Let us make man in our image after our likeness..."
again the unapporpriate use of us, and our....

The bible in itself is an interesting read if you believe or not.

[leucetios]

I'm game smarty smart man but I'll take your observations a few steps furthur.

I agree, or at least it is written in the bible the way you spout it. Adam was created in God's image, cock and balls included. With that in mind, did adam have a belly button? If so why the fuck would God need a belly button? Was god "born"? and if so by whom?

Furthermore, after Adam and Eve ate from the tree of life (genesis 3:22 = And the Lord God said, Behold the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil...) Who the fuck is "us"?

on a side note, depending on what version of the bible you use Genesis has some very interesting differences cause in some versions Genesis 1:26 reads: And God said, "Let us make man in our image after our likeness..."
again the unapporpriate use of us, and our....

The bible in itself is an interesting read if you believe or not.

Well, I am going to say that unless god is a perfectionist, Adam didn't have a belly button, but Cain and Able did. They were born, Adam wasn't.

A lot of the things you point out are things that agree with my main theory - which is that god is not a single entity. If anything he is a creature in a species.

I still say that by thinking that Adam would be happy without a woman, can only imply that god is not happy with his own woman.

[Bill]

Well, I am going to say that unless god is a perfectionist, Adam didn't have a belly button, but Cain and Able did. They were born, Adam wasn't.

A lot of the things you point out are things that agree with my main theory - which is that god is not a single entity. If anything he is a creature in a species.

I still say that by thinking that Adam would be happy without a woman, can only imply that god is not happy with his own woman.

I agree 110% but that leaves one question....

If God kicks his bitch to the curb does he pay alimony?

[leucetios]

I agree 110% but that leaves one question....

If God kicks his bitch to the curb does he pay alimony?

I'd say that if you're part of a species that can create worlds, then alimoney isn't something you worry about too much.

[Bill]

I'd say that if you're part of a species that can create worlds, then alimoney isn't something you worry about too much.

There would have to ba a currency....period.
God admits knowing between good and evil.

Think she'd get the house with the hot tub?

[leucetios]

There would have to ba a currency....period.
God admits knowing between good and evil.

Think she'd get the house with the hot tub?

I'm betting she got the Earth, and that's why we're in such a sorry fucking state. Bitch probably doesn't even clean the gutters >< Uhm.. metaphorically speaking, of course.

[Bill]

I'm betting she got the Earth, and that's why we're in such a sorry fucking state. Bitch probably doesn't even clean the gutters >< Uhm.. metaphorically speaking, of course.

you'r preaching to the choir...

For shits and giggles I drove by my old house last summer when I was in florida...apparently the bitch didn't stop at just refusing to do the laundry and dishes..

[Flumper Barflusterbutt]

Furthermore, after Adam and Eve ate from the tree of life (genesis 3:22 = [SIZE=2]And the Lord God said, Behold the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil...) Who the fuck is "us"?

Genesis 3:22
"And the Lord God said behold the man is become as one of us..."
Problem:
It is pointed out that the verse reads, "God said", yet the plural "us" indicates a plurality. It is argued that this refers to the Trinity.
Solution:

1. The trinitarian argument on this passage is only an inferred argument. The "us" may very well be a reference to the angels of God.
2. John Calvin, the Swiss Protestant reformer, had this to say about Genesis 3:22: "Although some Christians deduce from this passage the doctrine of three persons in Deity, the argument, in my apprehension, is not substantial."
3. "It is no uncommon thing in any language, either ancient or modern, for single persons to speak in the plural; but it was never yet heard of in any age of the world, that more persons than one spoke in the singular."1
4. See also comments on Genesis 1:26

Footnotes:

1. William Christie, "Christian Discussion on Divine Unity", page 12.

[leucetios]

Genesis 3:22
"And the Lord God said behold the man is become as one of us..."
Problem:
It is pointed out that the verse reads, "God said", yet the plural "us" indicates a plurality. It is argued that this refers to the Trinity.
Solution:

1. The trinitarian argument on this passage is only an inferred argument. The "us" may very well be a reference to the angels of God.
2. John Calvin, the Swiss Protestant reformer, had this to say about Genesis 3:22: "Although some Christians deduce from this passage the doctrine of three persons in Deity, the argument, in my apprehension, is not substantial."
3. "It is no uncommon thing in any language, either ancient or modern, for single persons to speak in the plural; but it was never yet heard of in any age of the world, that more persons than one spoke in the singular."1
4. See also comments on Genesis 1:26

Footnotes:

1. William Christie, "Christian Discussion on Divine Unity", page 12.

Even so we're left with god creating a creature he intended to be asexual (he didn't give adam a partner) yet giving this creature reproduction capabilities. And making this man in his own image. Implying god has genitals... implying there must be a female god somewhere.

[Bill]

Genesis 3:22
"And the Lord God said behold the man is become as one of us..."
Problem:
It is pointed out that the verse reads, "God said", yet the plural "us" indicates a plurality. It is argued that this refers to the Trinity.
Solution:

1. The trinitarian argument on this passage is only an inferred argument. The "us" may very well be a reference to the angels of God.
2. John Calvin, the Swiss Protestant reformer, had this to say about Genesis 3:22: "Although some Christians deduce from this passage the doctrine of three persons in Deity, the argument, in my apprehension, is not substantial."
3. "It is no uncommon thing in any language, either ancient or modern, for single persons to speak in the plural; but it was never yet heard of in any age of the world, that more persons than one spoke in the singular."1
4. See also comments on Genesis 1:26

Footnotes:

1. William Christie, "Christian Discussion on Divine Unity", page 12.

maybe God's got a couple of personalities stuck in his head....besides. based on the angels conclusion, did he just get bored and make a bunch of doods to hang out with? Watch the big game? why not create half a dozen blondes and have a good time instead?

[leucetios]

maybe God's got a couple of personalities stuck in his head....besides. based on the angels conclusion, did he just get bored and make a bunch of doods to hang out with? Watch the big game? why not create half a dozen blondes and have a good time instead?

I got nothing to say about angels, cause I know there's more than I know. I know the cherabim and seraphim don't look humanoid, and can be some pretty scary fucks. I think it was man that made them human's with wings.

[Bill]

I got nothing to say about angels, cause I know there's more than I know. I know the cherabim and seraphim don't look humanoid, and can be some pretty scary fucks. I think it was man that made them human's with wings.

Don't make me switch to Brother Bill mode, I've been sick and these meds don't have me playing with a full deck.

[Vitamin E]

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 4 (4 members and 0 guests)
Vitamin E, Don, leucetios, Flumper Barflusterbutt+

Four dude's who's wives are currently authoring 'Honey-Do' lists.

[Don]

God is an imaginary friend for grownups. Give it up already.

[leucetios]

Don't make me switch to Brother Bill mode, I've been sick and these meds don't have me playing with a full deck.

I googled it... Found a Catholic encyclopedia. So they look vageuly humanoid.... but four faces? four arms? ox hoofs for feet?

God was stoned is all I am saying.

[Vitamin E]

God is an imaginary friend for grownups. Give it up already.

Clay, is that you?