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My fiance's aunt has been trying to adopt a child for sometime now, issues I choose not to get into. While she was in the hospital a few months ago one of her nurse's approached her and said her sister was looking to put her unborn child up for adoption and asked if she was interested. The aunt was thrilled. Shoot forward to last night, the mother is 2 weeks away from giving birth. The father of the child has an arrest warrant out and is missing. She got a call last night saying the father was found and they asked for his permission to put the child up for adoption (he is the father of 8, all which he never sees nor supports). He declined the request and will not allow her to give the child to my fiance's aunt. The only way the adoption can go through is if the mother can prove that this man was unaware of her being pregnant and made no effort to make contact during the 9 months. The mother is unable to care for another child for she already has 2. What are your thoughts on the adoption process? How is this safe for a child that has a loving family waiting to care for it, yet legal restrictions will not allow to happen?
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those legal issues suck, but honestly her aunt should walk away from this shit.
Not such a wonderful lineage, and many traits are hereditary.
There has to be a better child for her out there.
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K.F.C. Wrote:those legal issues suck, but honestly her aunt should walk away from this shit.
Not such a wonderful lineage, and many traits are hereditary.
There has to be a better child for her out there.
she's been trying for years now, she finds herself contemplating lots of "what-ifs" and doesn't think she should give up without fighting. this child will have a better life if its adopted, its kind of messy.
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K.F.C. Wrote:Does she have to have a baby?
I know some people who adopted an 8-year old Russian girl. Still young enough to mold and love, and none of the messy diaper and potty training shit.
If she wants a baby, it's much more difficult apparently. But if you want me to get that info for you to give to her, let me know.
her and her husband want a child they can raise for their own, they love children and babies. what kind of info?
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This is a subject near and dear to me. We had a really great adoption experience with our son, but that was after 2 other birth moms changed their minds at the last minute, and one birth dad came back into the picture.
The problem as I see it, is there are no national guidelines in place. Each state has their own. There is little or nothing that can be done about it at this point. Judges are apt in almost every case, to give the Birth parents custody. Even if it is not in the childs best interest.
You only have the emotional pregnanat woman side, or future adopted mother side of the story, too. The man is the father, at least legally, so he has rights, until he proves he is not deserving of those rights (a bear to prove, by the way).
KFC: It ain't a race horse, it is a kid.
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Oklahoma Wrote:she's been trying for years now, she finds herself contemplating lots of "what-ifs" and doesn't think she should give up without fighting. this child will have a better life if its adopted, its kind of messy.
It is almost impossible for her to win. The law is on the guys side, he is the birth father.
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SanDog Wrote:It is almost impossible for her to win. The law is on the guys side, he is the birth father.
yeah, we're kind of realizing it now. so fucking close to getting the child and they end up finding this prick. hopefully the mother will keep the child instead of allowing it to be in his custody. the only way the lawyer said was if the father attempted to make no contact, which is very possible given that he's been running from the law.
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Oklahoma Wrote:yeah, we're kind of realizing it now. so fucking close to getting the child and they end up finding this prick. hopefully the mother will keep the child instead of allowing it to be in his custody. the only way the lawyer said was if the father attempted to make no contact, which is very possible given that he's been running from the law.
We spent a year trying to track down our sons sperm donor, and he ran and ran, never did sign the papers, we had to go to court and have a judge terminate his parental rights.
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part of me wants to knock some skank up and give them the child (kidding)
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Oklahoma Wrote:part of me wants to knock some skank up and give them the child (kidding)
On a serious note, I am sure your Aunt has done a lot of research as I have, but I will say, although it is considerably more expensive, private agency is the way to go. County adoptions will usually involve the state having removed a child, or some other traumatic event occuring, leaving the possibility of legal issues with the parents.
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SanDog Wrote:On a serious note, I am sure your Aunt has done a lot of research as I have, but I will say, although it is considerably more expensive, private agency is the way to go. County adoptions will usually involve the state having removed a child, or some other traumatic event occuring, leaving the possibility of legal issues with the parents.
Did you use a Private Agency? At this point I'm not so sure that money even matters anymore, they just want a child.
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Oklahoma Wrote:Did you use a Private Agency? At this point I'm not so sure that money even matters anymore, they just want a child.
Yes. This really should move to PM, or e-mail to discuss though. The details will bore everyone.
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SanDog Wrote:Yes. This really should move to PM, or e-mail to discuss though. The details will bore everyone.
cool
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