[minorthreat]

Is it considered a good night when you wake up the next morning and you have a text message from your buddy's mother that says, "Who is this?"

[BIRD33]

I have no idea what this means.Was it not her son in her house?Why does your friends mom have your cell #?

[BIRD33]

Prior to fancy cell phones with internet capability I fucked a single mother at her house after a party in North East Philly.Its 7AM and I hear the kid rustling around so I sit straight up and walk out the door to avoid a awkward "Hey I just fucked your mom, nice to meet you kid" scene.I get outside and realize my friend drove me down there and he went home which is an hour away.I know I'm in the north east but thats it.I'm literally standing on the corner debating on whether to go back inside the house but that seemed painful.I start texting friends with cross streets to find out where I'm at.Eventually one leads me to the main drag in the NE and I catch a cab closer to home and have another girl I was fucking pick me up.She takes me home I shower and she gives me a hand job.The end.

[JCW]

A little bit more cussing and that coulda been a sporK story there, BIRD.

[squirt]

I assume the first words out of your mouth were "Oh shit!!"

[BIRD33]

Difference between my stories and sporks is mine actually happened.

[Anhil8tor]

I have matured past hand jobs.

[BIRD33]

I'll get my hand jobs while you tend to your herb garden.

[minorthreat]

I guess I sent her a text during my drinking time Saturday night. I was with her son so it's not as bad as it first seemed. I can't imagine he will be too happy though.

[JCW]

Depends what the text you sent says, doesn't it?

[minorthreat]

Depends what the text you sent says, doesn't it?

It didn't make any sense really. His mom was a looker in her younger days and a bunch of us always give him shit about her. She even joins in on giving him a hard time.

[Father Juan]

Cue porno music.

[WoolyGoat]

8 what kind of herbs do you grow?

[Anhil8tor]

8 what kind of herbs do you grow?

Oregano, Rosemary, Sweet Basil, Lemon Basil, Parsley, Shallots, Mint... all kinds of cooking herbs.

[BIRD33]

Oregano, Rosemary, Sweet Basil, Lemon Basil, Parsley, Shallots, Mint... all kinds of cooking herbs.

What a sensitive man you are!

I will never forget how you said you were too mature for hand jobs.Never!

[JCW]

What a sensitive man you are!

I will never forget how you said you were too mature for hand jobs.Never!

That's the day 8 broke your heart?

[BIRD33]

Its this whole look how much of a mature adult I am crap.I garden!Fuck you 8.

[bam]

:lol2:

[Anhil8tor]

Nothing negative against you bird. I enjoy cooking and fresh herbs are the way to go. I simply don't enjoy a hand job. If I want a hand job I'll do it myself..i'm better at it anyway. Gimmie a blow job or jump on top... thats the way to go.

[BIRD33]

The issue,Herb McGee is the statement "that you've matured past hand jobs" like anyone who enjoys hand jobs is a immature asshole who doesnt appreciate a well grown paprika.Fuck you.Typical GOP my shit doesnt stink attitude.