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zing (check it gals)
#1

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife

stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in

8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next

morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,

Drove them to school, came home and picked up

the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners

And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,

Then drove home to put away the groceries,

Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds,

do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with

them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework,

Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling pot atoes and washing vegetables for salad,

breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded

laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted

and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was

expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,

Lord,

I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being

able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned

your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
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#2

Nice use of zing.
Zing the dumbass who wanted to be a chick

One part of the Trailer Trash Alliance
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