Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5

Man Laws
#81

Man Law:

NEVER let a chick get you out of a fight. even if it is a situation that you would normally back down from, once she tries to pull you away you must stand your ground and either whip ass or take your beating. if she ever successfully pulls you away from an altercation she'll drag you right to the fucking shoe store
Reply
#82

Man Law: Choosing the automobiles is your job. If you allow the woman to pick the car, you will end up with strap on attached to the passenger seat, where you will obviously be sitting.

I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?


Reply
#83

Man Law: Men always drive. Unless they are drunk, drunk drivers are fags.

I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?


Reply
#84

Man Law:

no daquiries, no fruity mixers, and no specialty shots or other concoctions to mask the taste of the alcohol. if you need 4/5ths of a glass of cranberry juice to choke down your vodka, don't drink vodka you fucking pussy. liquor should be mixed only with water, be it tonic, soda, tap, or ice, if it must be mixed with anything at all. otherwise, stick to the wine coolers
Reply
#85

Man Law: The only time you are allowed to order a Margarita is when at a Mexican restaurant. Ordering one while at any other place that serves alcohol will authorize the bartender to revoke your mancard.
Reply
#86

what? Wrote:Man Law:

no daquiries, no fruity mixers, and no specialty shots or other concoctions to mask the taste of the alcohol. if you need 4/5ths of a glass of cranberry juice to choke down your vodka, don't drink vodka you fucking pussy. liquor should be mixed only with water, be it tonic, soda, tap, or ice, if it must be mixed with anything at all. otherwise, stick to the wine coolers
I think I'm in love. :wub:
Reply
#87

Man Law: The only vegetables you order with steak are some kind of potato. If you want something green, eat a salad prior to the actual meal.

I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?


Reply
#88

SanDog Wrote:Man Law: The only vegetables you order with steak are some kind of potato. If you want something green, eat a salad prior to the actual meal.
What is your credit card number?If I had

something green eat a salad prior to the actual meal

what would I do with it?

Who said I had to make sense ?
Reply
#89

Man Law:

sex should be about her too. the number of orgasms she has should be roughly equivalent to the number you get. unless there's a game on
Reply
#90

Flumper Barflusterbutt Wrote:Man Law:

Never order just a salad. You might as well ask the waiter if you can give him a blowjob behind the kitchen.

SanDog Wrote:Man Law: The only vegetables you order with steak are some kind of potato. If you want something green, eat a salad prior to the actual meal.

these would seem to be contradictory, but are not. if a salad comes with your meal, it is acceptable. however, dressing should never come on the side and you are only allowed to order salads named "house", "garden", or "ceasar". if you eat the entire salad, you better damn well eat the whole steak too, I don't give a flying fuck how full you are
Reply
#91

Man Law:

Don't learn how to make any drinks more complicated than scotch and water. If anyone is ever at your house and orders anything that requires more knowledge than that, you know he's a fag and needs to leave.
Reply
#92

what? Wrote:Man Law:

sex should be about her too. the number of orgasms she has should be roughly equivalent to the number you get. unless there's a game on


Was there a gun to your head when you wrote this? A cock in your ass?

I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?


Reply
#93

Man Law:

jockey shorts should not be confused with swimwear. you fatassed european perverts know what I'm talking about. ditch the fucking speedos
Reply
#94

Man Law:

Don't drink bloody mary's, even in the morning. You might as well be sucking on a maxi pad.
Reply
#95

SanDog Wrote:Was there a gun to your head when you wrote this? A cock in your ass?

PH said she thinks she's in love with me, I'm trying to close the deal. I thought the "unless there's a game on" throw in would protect me from ridicule ><
Reply
#96

Man Law:

Contact at least one past conquest every month. You might get lucky and find one that is going through a difficult time and is very vulnerable and you can knock off a chunk before she figures out you really don't care about her or her problems.
Reply
#97

Man Law:

if an opportunity to have sex with two women simultaneously presents itself, you must take it - regardless of the level of attractiveness of either or both of the girls and even if you have an opportunity for a 1 on 1 with a hotter chick. 2 deuces beats an Ace in every card game that matters
Reply
#98

Man Law:

no man shall own or possess a dog that looks like this:

[Image: Maltesepeanutpup20.jpg]


it looks like a friggin' feather duster with a pink bow.
Reply
#99

Man Law: If someone challenges you to arm wrestling, you must accept the challenge, even if it's clear you will lose. Whenever you lose, you must use the excuse that they cheated.
Reply

Man Law:

After having sex with a girl for the first time, ask her "So, what do you keep for the guys to wipe their dicks off with?". Then laugh and say, "I'm just kidding".
Reply


Possibly Related Threads…
Thread / Author Replies Views Last Post
Last Post by Fairiedust
10-07-2005, 04:31 PM
Last Post by Bill
11-23-2004, 07:25 PM
Last Post by VitaminE
10-20-2004, 02:41 PM
Last Post by Hambone
04-08-2004, 07:34 PM

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)