[what?]

So I had a "date" (excuse for woman to suck my dick) today and there I was, just out of the shower, shaving...and then teh spork asks himself a question: "If I wasn't going out with this whore, would I be shaving now?" Obviously not. Fuck this bitch, right then and there I put down the razor. It was time to do what spork does best - act like an asshole and set new trends. I went out with my face half shaved and half sporting some healthy late night stubs. Spork was excited. Spork's cock was hard. SPork was going to enjoy this.

Perhaps I'll finish this later.

for what it's worth, I went out with half my face shaved a little over 10 years ago. I managed to not pop a boner over it