[SporK]

Time to go shopping right?

So I walk into the bank..

"yo cash this"
"Sir you have to wait online"
"What the fuck do you mean I have to wait online, there's an open window right here?"
"Sir thats for businesses"
"I am a business"
"Sir-"
"Hold on buddy, I have to answer this phone call."

So I take my call and then one of the none business windows opens..

"Cash this"
"Sir do you have an account with us?"
"Yeah"
"Whats the account number"
"how should i know"
"its your account"
"its your bank"
"okay, sir what is your name, ssn.."
"maybe you want the account number where I keep my life savings too?"
[blank stare at me]
[i give her info info, slip check through window]
"Sir, we can't cash this for you"
"Why not"
"Because you have $6 in your account"
"So?"
"So you can't cash a check for 40k"
"Look here, do you think I like your fucking bank? Do you think I want to waste my $6 in your vaults? I waste $6 here just so I can get free cash checking. Now turn my check into cash."
"We can't do this, now if there's anything else..."
"Okay, look. I'm the POA for an account with half a mill in it. Cash my fucking check."
"Name on the account?"
[name]
"Sir, that is a CD account."
"So what?"
"We cannot cash checks for POA's against CD accounts. You'd have to deposit and withdraw."
"Christ. Okay, let's do that."
[hands me slips to fill out]
"Sir, you can't fill those slips out by the win.."
"Shut the hell up"
"you know you are the rudest...blah blah blah"
"bitch just cash my check"
[rent a cop walks over]
"Sir, you'll have to leave now."
"I don't have to do shit but I'll leave once she gives me my money."
"You're being disorderly...blah blahblah"
"No, I'm not. I'm perfectly calm, waiting to cash your yearly salary. This isn't private property, you can't kick me out you dumb fuck."
[another rent a cop walks over, they appear to be ready to do something bad to teh spork]
"SPork what do you want?"
[manager calls to me from window, we know each other. I think she wants to blow me.]
"What do you think I want?"
"Okay, let me see those[slips]"
[pass slips]
"Okay, I'll take care of this for you. Give me your certificate of deposit..."
"My what?"
"The little book you get when you open a CD account."
"I don't have that with me. I just want to cash this check."
"I can't do anything without the book..."
"What the fuck? You know what, fuck this and fuck this shitty bank...the only reason I keep any money in here is because you motherfuckers somehow lucksacked your way into being the closest bank to my house."

Then, since I couldn't do shit anyway, I left before the two federal rentacops could stop me. I don't think they want me to comeback.

I wonder if banks can legally keep me out...fucking cocksucking leeches.

-SporK

P.s. FUCK BANKS

[Anhil8tor]

you should get your mom some new cabinets.

[BIRD33]

Whats more retarded the fact you think we believe you got a 40 k check or the fact you don't know how getting a check cashed works?

[WoolyGoat]

I can't believe you ran away from rentacops. What a pussy.

[BIRD33]

I tell you what if the choice was being polite and being handed 40k or being a total jackass and walking out with nothing I'd be torn.

[WoolyGoat]

fuck that. I'd spend 40k just to have an image like his.

[what?]

I tell you what if the choice was being polite and being handed 40k or being a total jackass and walking out with nothing I'd be torn.

that's the kind of chickenshit pussy thinking that gets you out of your parents' house

[leucetios]

I think he meant "in line" not "online". This ruined the whole story for me.