[Jdub]

read this,
It won't copy and paste with mozilla, so look at post below!

[Jdub]

Driving him up the wall
By Elsa K. Simcik




We girls can be whiny, moody, high maintenance… and that’s the better part of the month. Sometimes we’re monsters on heels. Yet men still go out with us. Why do they put up with it? It must be because we’re hot.

But sometimes — even if you’re as sexy as Halle Berry — your annoying habits outweigh your hotness. And since most of us aren’t as hot as Halle Berry, we’re even more irritating. “But I thought he liked it when I talked in my baby voice,” you’re probably saying. Nope, he doesn’t. So before you sabotage your next date by calling him “Muscle Muffin,” let’s try to curb some of those pesky practices.

Shut up. The only thing worse than listening to a long, rambling story is listening to a long, rambling story about people you don’t know. This is what we do to guys all the time. Does this sound familiar? “So that girl at work, Leah, the one with the stringy hair who’s always trying to make me look bad…” Stop right there. Because your man just did. If you want him to listen, you can either spruce up your story-telling skills or simply add in some spicy, somewhat fictional details: “So that girl at work, Leah, the one with the big boobs…”

Hang up. Being a “Cell Phone Joan” falls into the same category as telling unsolicited stories. Scaling back the mobile monologues is easy if you make an effort. Save all lengthy conversations for your commute. When you call your best friend at 5:30 and hang up at 6, she understands that you’re multi-tasking. If you’re with your man, limit the calls to making quick plans or, of course, wardrobe emergencies with said best friend. It’d be great if you could cut if off altogether, but we’re taking baby steps here.

Hurry up. Ah, this is a classic and a tough one to tackle. Our routine requires more than splashing water on our heads and running out the door, shirt optional. We have to primp, groom and address unwanted body hair. So to avoid having to respond to, “Are you ready yet?” every seven minutes, try to de-dawdle. For starters, avoid putting on make-up while watching television. If I could restrain from watching Katie Couric and putting on mascara at the same time, I swear I would cut back my morning routine by a good four minutes.

Eat up. Yes, we’ve all heard: Your butt is too wide, your thighs are too jiggly and every time you wear your low-rise jeans, your rant shifts to your lower back fat. Now if you ask your man if he thinks you look fat, he’s inevitably going to say, “No.” And if he’s trained properly, he’ll add, “You’re the skinniest girl in the room.” So why ask? Does this rehearsed validation give you the confidence to wear a tube top despite your fear of arm flab? Whether it’s all true or part of your sick weight dementia, leave him out of it. Leave the weight whining to when you’re sitting around with your girlfriends, cursing your saddle bags over some ice cream.

Hey, we’re not perfect. But luckily, neither are they (to say the least). However, if we’re gonna be so darn good-looking, it would be nice to have a perfect disposition, personality and intelligence to match. Now that would really annoy them.

[Banana]

I looked at it.

What did it say?

[snarg]

welcome to ADD headquarters
summary pelase
TIA



ps: any guy who reads shit like that is ghey

[Jimmy]

OOpS! I read it before I read snarqs post. I'm still not ghey.

[snarg]

as long as you are with that yellow fruit you are exempt, jimmy
ya lucky bastard!!!!!!!!