[leeman]

Holy email
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So He called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.'
God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.'
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.
When the angel returned he went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.'
God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because He wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?

[snarg]

email me for the word

[BIRD33]

free viagra?

[snarg]

sorry yer still havin problems getting it up
god doesn't care about your limp dick, tweety

[BIRD33]

I'm not having problems but thanks for your concern.

P.S.

Sex is still as good as you remember it.

[snarg]

sorta like riding a bike??

[BIRD33]

A dirt bike if you know what I mean.

[Flumper Barflusterbutt]

Do you know what the e-mail said?

Dear Friend,

I am Mr. Leslie E. Partlan, Managing Director, Barclays Bank Plc, London, United Kingdom. I am writing following an opportunity in my office that will be of immense benefit to both of us.

On January 11th 2000, a German estate tycoon, late Mr. Andreas Schranner, deposited Ј10,000,000 (Ten Million British Pounds Sterling) under our portfolio management department for a period of Two (2) years, and the deposit matured on the 18th of February 2002 with over 100% growth which amounted to a total of Ј20,520,000 (Twenty Million, Five Hundred and Twenty Thousand British Pounds Sterling).

Upon maturity, a routine notification was sent to his forwarding address all to no avail. Several attempts were made to contact him but without responses. After a month, another reminder was sent to him from my desk and evidently I discovered from his contract employers that Mr. Andreas Schranner died in the plane crash of Air France Concorde flight 4590 which crashed on July 25th 2000. On further indebt investigation, I discovered that he died with his wife and entire family, as all efforts to trace members of his neither family nor relatives proved futile. You shall read more about the crash on visiting this site. Http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Mr. Andreas Schranner, has long passed away and since his death none of his next-of-kin or relations has come forward to lay claims for this money as the heir. He died without identifying with anybody about these funds, which has since matured and the roll-over on the funds also expired. This sum of Ј20,520,000 (Twenty Million, Five Hundred and Twenty Thousand British Pounds Sterling) is still in my possession in my Bank lifeless and unnoticed because there will never be a claim on the funds. All material, immaterial documents and certificates relating to the funds is also in my possession.

Against this backdrop, I am proposing to you to stand in as the next of kin to Late Mr. Andreas Schranner. The banking law and guidelines here stipulates that at the expiration of eight (8) years such funds will be transferred into banking treasury as unclaimed funds. The money will be approved into your account and subsequently, we shall share in the ratio: 60% for us and 40% for you as gratification for assistance rendered. I will visit your country for the disbursement, according to the percentages indicated above once this money gets into your account.

I humbly crave your indulgence in portraying sincerity towards this matter, as trust stands to be our watchword in this transaction. Our assurance is that your role is risk free to accord this transaction the legality it deserves as with all modalities put in place we are certain in actualizing a hitch free transfer of the funds without any impediments. My position with my bank already guarantees the swift execution of this project. We will discuss much in details when I do receive your response. Kindly signify your willingness to assist by sending me an email for further procedures relating to this transaction.

Kind regards.
Mr. Lord Antwainu Bezjhmiaman

[who]

I'm not having problems but thanks for your concern.

P.S.

Sex is still as good as you remember it.

someone protests too much