[ntype]

"!sgub evah t'nseod CP sihT ?sgub naem ayaddahW"
"#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) - Shakespeare."
"... now touch these wires to your tongue!"
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
"Apple" © Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
"Are you ready to go home now?"
"Bad knee, gotta run" - Pat Buchanan to his draft board
"Build a watch in 179 easy steps" by C. Forsberg.
"C++" should have been called "D"
"COINCIDENCE" happens.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
"Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?"
"E=Mc^5...nahhh...E=Mc^4...nahh...E=Mc^3...ah, the hell with it."
"Excuse me, why is your drink glowing?"
"Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw..."
"I'm looking for Mr. Dover, first name Ben..."
"If the shoe fits, buy it." Imelda Marcos
"Is" is the verb for when you don't want a verb.
"Keyboard? How quaint!" - Scotty
"Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke" - Obi Wan Gates
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
"Mr. Worf, scan that ship." "Aye, Captain... 300 DPI?
"Please return stewardess to original upright position"
"Profanity: the universal programming language"
"Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE"
"Say mother! Want another?" (if she has children)
"Stupid" is a boundless concept.
"Suicide Hotline... please hold."
"The faster you go, the shorter you are" - Einstein
"To err is human, to forgive... $5.00"
"Today's subliminal thought is:"
"Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!" -Yoda-
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Vote for Perot" - Bumper sticker attached with velcro.
#include SWEEPING_GENERALITY.h
$$$ not found -- (A)bort ®efinance (B)ankrupt
(A)bort, ®etry, (F)*ckup completely?
(A)bort, ®etry, (G)et a beer?
(A)bort, ®etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
(A)bort, ®etry, (P)retend this never happened...
(A)bort, ®etry, (T)ake down entire network?
© Copywight 1992 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
©1992 Wild Bill's Machine Gun Shop and House of Wax.
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort ®etry (P)izza
(You can have your cake) XOR (You can eat your cake)
.ASM programmers drive stick shifts.
/EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can.
1 + 1 = ? Ask my calculator.
1 Minute Shut Mouth Worth 1 Hour Explanation
10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be skitzo!
11 was a race-horse, 22 was 12. When 1111 race, 22112.
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
1200 bps used to seem so fast
186,000/mps. It's not just a good idea. It's the law.
1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts
2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).
2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case.....coincidence?
24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... coincidence?
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
29A, the hexadecimal of the Beast.
2B, or not 2B, or should I use a biro.
3 dreaded words when making love: Is that it?
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
43% of all statistics are worthless.
43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr...
668 - Neighbor of the Beast
69 is fine... but 77'll get me 8 more...
9 out of 10 dentists recommend oral sex...
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
>>>>-------- The information went data way -------->
A bird in the hand can be messy.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A Buddhist nudist practices yoga bare.
A Bugless Program is an Abstract Theoretical Concept.
A camel is a horse planned by committee.
A can of worms full of Pandora's boxes.
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mind gathers no intelligence
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.
A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?
A day not wasted is a day wasted!
A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
A dirty book is rarely dusty.
A drawing pin is an excited Smartie
A few cans short of a six pack, Six short.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
A fool and his money are soon partying!
A fool and his money are soon partying.
A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.
A fool must now and then be right by chance.
A friend in need is a pain in the neck.
A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
A half moon is better than no moon at all.
A harp is a nude piano.
A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.
A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A man, a plan, a canal. Suez!
A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot..
A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.
A penny saved is a Governmental oversight.
A penny saved is ridiculous!
A perversion of nature... how exciting!
A pessimist is never disappointed.
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.
A stage? No, this is not a stage.
A waste is a terrible thing to mind.
AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous
Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace.
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
Alex Haley was adopted!
All computers wait at the same speed.
All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP.
All generalizations are bad.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All hope abandon, ye who press ENTER here
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
All in all just another brick in the wall.
All life's answers are on TV. - Bart Simpson
All stressed out, and no one to choke...
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the easy problems have been solved.
All things are green unless they are not.
All things equal, fat people use more soap.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
All work and no play, will make you a manager.
All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait.
Alone: In bad company.
Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.
Amateur Time Lord
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's in a rut.
An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
An Elephant; A Mouse built to government specifications.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.
Anarchy means ignoring things that really piss you off!
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
And God said: E = +mv} - Ze}/r... and there *WAS* light!
And he disappeared in a puff of logic.
And how can this be? For he IS the Kumquat Haagen
And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...
And now for something completely else...
And now for something completely the same...
And now for something ruder...
And the days dwindle down to a precious few...
And then it goes... BOOOOOMMMM!!!
And there he was, reigning supreme at number two.
And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
And, the driver compresses EVERYTHING, not just EXE & COM
Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.
Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.
Another case of Cherry Coke down the programming hatch!
Another fine product from Bastards Inc.
Answers: $1 * Correct answers: $5 * Dumb looks: Free! *
Antidisestablishmentarianism!
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs ther\C
Any wire cut to length will be too short.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

[ntype]

ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.
Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
Assassins do it from behind.
At the office copy machine: "Reproducing eh? Can I help?"
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged.
Backup not found: (A)bort ®etry (P)anic
Backup not found: (A)bort ®etry (T)hrowup
Backups? We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER
Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...
Bald: follicularly challenged.
Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Black Holes are Out of Sight.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Blessed are the pessimists, they make backups!
Bliss *IS* ignorance
Blood is thicker than water, and tastier.
Bo Peep did it for the insurance.
Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
Bond. James Bond.
Bonking with Barbie..
Borderline psychotic with hermit-like tendencies.
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Bored? Drive the speed limit... in your garage.
Born Again Virgin.
Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Brain dysfunction detected...
Brain over - Insert coin
Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding
Breast size multiplied by IQ always equals 69
Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Britannia waives the rules.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Bug off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature. -T. John Wendel
Bugger me with a fish fork..
Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
Bugs, like coathangers, breed if unobserved.
Building Contractors, not to be confused with homemakers
Bullets speak louder than reason.
Bullshit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful.
Bumper sticker on a hearse: I'd rather be breathing
Bungee Jumper? Catch you on the rebound.
Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise
Bus error (Passengers dumped)
Bush wears a hat so he knows which end to wipe!
But my little voice TOLD me to do it!
But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks?
But then again, I like cold toilet seats.
But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
Buy Land Now. It's Not Being Made Any More.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.
C:\GRAPHICS\GIF\NAUGHTY\FILTHY\DISGUSTING\WOW!
California raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected
Call The Bates Motel BBS: 1-800-BIG-NIFE
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
Can you find the mispelled word in hear?
Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?
Can you say "Pervert", I thought you could.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
Capt'n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!
Captain's Log, star date 21:34.5.
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
Card-carrying member of the cultural elite.
Castration takes balls.

[ntype]

Catholic girls, they never confess.
Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.
Caution: Contents under pressure
Caution: Hungry Dieter May bite if provoked
Caveat emptor, no deposit no return, do not remove.
CCITT: Can't Certify I Trust Telecom.
CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
CD-WOM, Wead Onwy Memowy.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
CEO of Dementia and Other Meaningless Entities.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Chastity is curable, if detected early.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Chernobyl used MACs.
Chicken heads are the chief food of captive alligators.
Chicks dig me; I wear colored underwear.
CHIP: One California hi-way patrolman.
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.
Choosy perverts choose GIF.
Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him.
Christians do it with grace
Christmas comes, but once a year is enough.
Civilization - biggest syntax error in history!
Clark Kent is a transvestite.
Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.
Cleanliness is next to impossible.
Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
Clinton is one Bill, George Bush can't veto...
Clones are people two.
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Closed Hearing for the Caption Impaired...
Cocaine -- the thinking man's Aspirin.
Cocaine isn't what it is cracked up to be.
CODING: AN addictive Drug.
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Come back ya pansie! I'll bite yer legs off!
Coming Soon!! Mouse Support for Edlin!!
Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!
COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways.
Common sense isn't...
Communism is like a mouth on a lollipop
Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence.
Computational Physicist and all around nice guy.
Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!
Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.
Computers are only human.
Computers are useless; they can only give answers.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers Rule 01001111 01001011
Computers run on faith, not electrons.
Condense soup, not books!
Condom - external storage
Condominiums are not effective birth control.
Conformity obstructs progress.
Confucius say too much.
Confucius say: I didn't say that!
Confucius say: Man who meows ate pussy!
Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around.
Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.
Confuse People: Quote from the wrong message!
Confusion not only reigns, it pours.
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Consolations, Consultations, Conflagrations.
Conspiracy: the opiate of the asses
Converse with any plankton lately?
Copyright the Intergalactic Thought Association
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
Couldn't myself have better it said.
Count Dracula - your Bloody Mary is ready...
Cover your stump before you hump.
CRASH: Normal termination.
CRIME CONTROL: Fire a warning shot into his HEART!
Crime does not pay... as well as politics.
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
Crime wouldn't pay if the Government ran it.
Cunnilingus is a real tongue twister!
CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK: Stocktaking at a Bike shop
Dain Bramaged.
DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
DANGER! Computer store ahead, hide wallet!
Dangerous exercise: Jumping to conclusions.
Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.
Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold.
Database administrators do it with their relations
Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
Dawson's First Law: You don't have enough outlets.
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
Deaf, dumb, and blonde.
Death is 99 per cent fatal to laboratory rats.
Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?'
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.
Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
Definition: pumpkin (v.): What people in Kentucky do.
Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
Delivered by Electronic Sled-Dogs... Woof!
Democracy's GREAT! Even George Bush can chunder!
Democrats Call for Amnesty, Reduced Sentences Likely.
Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.
Depart in pieces... i.e., Split.
Department of Redundancy Department
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
DEVICE=EXXON.SYS may mess up your environment
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Dictator - a potato with a penis.
Did anyone see my lost carrier?
Did I just step on someone's toes again?
Did Tarzan love Cheetah or Jane? - Pictures at 11.
Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.
DILATE: To live longer.
Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
DIODE: What happens to people who don't die young.
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
Dirty tags and they're done dirt cheap.
Disclaimer: All opinions are not really opinions.
Disclaimer: Written by a highly caffeinated mammal.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
Disks travel in packs.
DIVORCE =system("echo y| erase \wife\*.*" );
DO {nothing} WHILE (HearFromMe==0)
Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
Do fish get thirsty?
DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality
Do not disturb. Already disturbed!
Do not fumble with a woman's logic.
Do NOT look into laser with remaining eyeball!
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Do not remove this tagline under penalty of the law.
Do steam rollers really roll steam?
Do the joke. Get the laugh. Move on.
Do vampires get AIDS?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do witches run spell checkers?
Do you like me for my brain or my baud?
Do you want to see something swell?
Doctor Who for president
Doctor, my brain hurts!
Documentation is the castor oil of programming.

[ntype]

Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Does the Enterprise use DOS v 2356.0?
Dogs crawl under Gates, software under Windows.
Don't ask me, I have intermittent memory loss
Don't ask me, I only work here.
Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!
Don't be a fool; Vulcanize your tool.
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
Don't believe in miracles, expect them.
Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs.
Don't byte off more than you can multiplex.
Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!
Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.
Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!
Don't drink and drive - Smoke dope and fly home.
Don't drink water. Fish make love in it.
Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.
Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
Don't just do something !!! Stand there !!!
Don't just stand there, scratch my back!
Don't just stand there... KNEEL!!
Don't let school interfere with your education.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
Don't mess with Murphy.
Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it.
Don't press the keys so damned hard!
Don't read everything you believe.
Don't rush me. I get paid by the hour.
Don't speak now, and forever hold your peace.
Don't start with me. You know how I get.
Don't steal - the government hates competition..
Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely
Don't sweat it -- it's only ones and zeros.
Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure...
Don't try to saw sawdust.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Don't use no double negatives.
Don't waste water. Pee on a friend.
Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.
DOS 5.0 Yesterday's operating system, today!
DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
DOS-O-MANIA : Reboot is not kicking your computer again
DOS-O-MANIA : Root is not the book Alex Haley wrote.
Double your drive space - delete Windows!
Down with categorical imperative!
DOWN WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
Down with ignurance!
Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Drilling for oil is boring.
Drink wet cement, and get completely stoned.
Drop 'em.
Dropped from my peeling lips like lousy fruit.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
Dudley Moore is a phallic thimble.
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
E Pluribus Modem
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Easter is canceled this year. They've found the body.
Eat Crap! 10 Trillion flies can't be wrong.
Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy
Egghead: What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty
Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
Ego Gratification through Violence
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Elevators smell different to midgets
Email me the rules, please!
EMS: Enhanced Money Scam
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Enjoy me, I may never pass this way again.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
Enter that again, just a little slower.
ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Eschew obfuscation.
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
Evangelists do more than lay people.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
Every purchase has its price.
Every why hath a wherefore.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
Everything bows to success, even grammar.
Everything in our favor was against us.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Evil always triumphs over good, because good is STUPID!
Excellent time to become a missing person.
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
Excuse me while I dance a little jig of despair
Excuse me while I sharpen my tongue.
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
Excuse me, have I fu**ed you yet?
Excuse me, is it true that you're a sexual tyrannosaurus?
Excuse me. Do you wanna f**k or should I apologize?
EXPANSION SLOTS: The extra holes in your belt buckle.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Experience: a name everyone gives to his mistakes.
Exploding piglets!!! My god, it's raining bacon!
F.A.R.T... Fathers Against Radical Teenagers
Fact is solidified opinion
Fad: In one era and out the other.
Fahrvergnkie: (n) Sex in a Volkswagen.
Familiarity breeds attempt.
Familiarity breeds children.
Famous last words - Don't worry, I can handle it.
Famous last words - Icarus: Aaaahhhhhhhhh.
Famous last words - Jesus Christ: Father, beam me up.
Famous last words - Lion at the Circus of Rome: Burp..
Famous last words - You and what army?
Fancy a fuck?
Faster cars, colder beer, younger women, more money!
Fat person: Nutritional Overachiever
Fat Wars: May the Sauce Be With You.
Fatal Error Using Mouse. Replace and Bury Operator.
Features should be discovered, not documented.
Felines... nothing more than felines...
Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition
Finish your mail packet! Children are offline in India.
First thing you do is shoot all the lawyers
Fish and visitors stink in three days.

[ntype]

Flames to dev/null/here/is/a/quarter/now/go/buy/a/clue.
Flaming nuclear death to Smurfs
Flirt: A woman who thinks it's every man for herself.
FLOPPY DISK: Serious curvature of the spine.
Floppy not responding. Format hard drive instead? (Y/N)
Folks who think they know it all bug those of us who do
Follow-ups to alt.nobody.really.cares
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fools rush in where Fools have been before!
Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
For sale, Toilet-seat cover. Barely used.
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
For Sale: Slightly used message. Enquire within.
For the finest in brain candy.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
Forget the computer! Where's my abacus??
Forget the Joneses... I can't keep up with the SIMPSONS!
Fortune vomits on my eiderdown yet again.
Four minus two is one and the same.
Free advice is worth what you pay for it
Free Nelson Mandela, while stocks last!
Freedom is just chaos with better lighting.
Friendly fire - ISN'T !
Friends are Friends, regardless of their baud rate!
Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Friendship is one soul in two bodies.
From C:\*.* to shining C:\*.*
From my brain, an organ with a mind of it's own.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Gretchen?
Funny, only sensible people agree with me.
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Gargle twice daily - see if your neck leaks.
General Failure reading John Dvorak
Genitalia is not an Italian airline.
George Orwell was an optimist.
GET A HAIRCUT!
Get a powerful right arm: subscribe to Playboy.
Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up.
Get the facts first - you can distort them later!
Gimme back my face! You're getting it ugly.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.
Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
Go Lemmings, Go!!!
God does not play dice.
God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
God I hate floppies.
God I want patience, and I WANT IT NOW!
God invented women because sheep can't cook.
God is alive - he just doesn't want to get involved.
God is love... Love is blind... Ray Charles is God!
God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER.
GODISNOWHERE
Going out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
Good day to let down old friends who need help.
Good girls go to heaven... but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!
Goodness has NOTHING to do with it...
Gotta love me!
Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
Gravity brings me down
Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sux.
Great minds travel in the same sewers.
Greed is good! Greed is right! Greed works!
Grow your own dope... plant a man
Growing older is mandatory... growing up is optional!
Grub first, then ethics.
Gun Control means holding it in both hands.
Gun Control: Keep muzzle pointed at target.
Guns don't kill people... death does.
Guns don't kill people... I KILL PEOPLE!
GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.
Guten TAG.
H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!
Hackito ergo sum.
Hailing frequencies open, Captain.
HAL 9000, you're pretty drunk aren't you Dave?
Half the people you know are below average.
Hams do it with frequency, till their gigahertz.
Happiness is a warm gun.
Happiness is a warm modem
Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror.
Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Happiness is not a destination. It's the trip.
Happiness is... receiving YOUR posts!!!!
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Hard work must have killed someone!
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
HARDWARE: n. The part you kick.
Have an adequate day.
Have cursor, will curse.
Have Tardis, will travel.
Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?
Have you seen Quasimoto? I have a hunch he's back!
Having two bathrooms ruins the capacity to co-operate.
He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
He who dies with the most access, wins.
He who dies with the most toys... is *still* DEAD!
He who hesitates is constipated.
He who hesitates too long, must change his underwear.
He who hesitates... miss'es out !!!
He who laughs last is S-L-O-W.
He who laughs last probably made a backup.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
He who Laughs, Lasts.
He who let woman on top is fucking up.
He who lives by the sword eats with bloody hands.
He who lives by the sword laughs last.
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet.
He's dim, Jed
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
Heads I win... DITTO tails
Hell Hath No Pizza.
Hell, if you understood everything I said, you'd be me!
Hello, Love, - Do you spit or swallow?
Help endangered species - adopt a KGB operative.
Help stamp out mental illness, or I'll kill you!
Help stamp out, eliminate, and abolish redundancy!
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Help! I'm lost somewhere in the Generation Gap.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
Help! I've been stuck in here for years and years...
Her: What do you think of this dress? He: I like nothing better.
Here today, gaunt tomorrow.
Hex dump: Where witches put used curses...
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? What's the matter, don't like pizza?
Hey babe, Wanna get LUCKY!!!!!!
Hey babe... do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?
Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
Hey baby... can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?
Hey baby... can you suck start a Harley?
Hey! Hacker! Leave those lists alone!
Hey! This is a morgue, not an amusement park!
Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!
Hey!! When in Doubt Whip it Out!!!!
Hey, shit happens!
Hi! Can I buy you a Car?
Hi! I can't remember your name either.
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
Hi, my name's Ron, how do you like me so far?
HIC! HLLP I'M STUSCT IN BOOOZZZE WAREHUSE
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Hindsight is always 20:20.
Hindsight is an exact science.
Hit any user to continue.
Hollow chocolate has no calories
Holy Smokes!... "the church is on fire!"
Honest! It's only a cold sore!
Honey, I Formatted the Kid!
Honey, I'll be down in 10 minutes, I promise this time.
Honeymoon - the morning after the knot before.
Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.
Honeymoon: time between "I do" and "you'd better"
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
Housework done properly, can kill you
Houston! do you read.
How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How do you get holy water?... Boil the hell out of it!
How do you pronounce my name? With reverence.
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog!
How long will a floating point operation float?
How many consultants will fit onto the head of a pin?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven.
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
Humpty dumpty was pushed.
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
I admit it's offbeat, but lets not get hysterical.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I always get my muckin words fuddled
I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
I am a vampire. Please wash your neck.
I am both of us & so are you.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I am functioning within established parameters.
I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
I am sweet and lovable at all times.
I apologize to the deaf for the loss of subtitles.
I appreciate your not breathing while I smoke
I believe in a god which doesn't need heavy financing
I bet you I could stop gambling.
I bought a cordless extension cord.
I came, I saw, I took LOTS of PICTURES!
I came... I saw... I stole your tagline.
I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries
I can quit anytime I want; I just don't want to!

[ntype]

I can resist anything but temptation.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.
I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left!
I can't hear you. There's a banana republic in my ear.
I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
I could be arguing in my spare time.
I could prove God statistically.
I couldn't care less about apathy.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
I didn't cheat, I just changed the Rules!
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do this kind of stuff to him all through the picture.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
I don't need a disclaimer. I OWN the company.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I don't want the world, I just want your half.
I drink to make other people interesting.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
I feel so inar-inar-inar tic-u-late
I find myself beside a stream of empty thought
I float like an anchor and sting like a moth.
I get mail... I exist.
I give advice worth the price... free!
I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!
I guess a cynic smells different.
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers
I have a speech impediment... my foot.
I have already not made that point
I have given my pain a name...!!
I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence!
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse!
I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
I intend to live forever - so far, so good
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
I is knot dain bramaged!
I just bought a cured ham. Wonder what it had?
I just found the last bug.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY
I know everything about everything, except that.
I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
I like candy, especially the gooey kind with nougat!
I like to leave messages *before* the beep.
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
I like to think of myself as a divide overflow.
I like two kinds of women: domestic and foreign.
I like women with big... HEARTS! YEAH! THAT's it!
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I look better on a woman!
I lost a button hole today.
I lost my knickers at Niagara.
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
I love every bone in your body - especially mine
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
I M a tru beleever in hour edukashun sistum.
I made it foolproof. They are making better fools!
I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up
I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
I modem, but they grew back.
I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.
I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.
I never met a chocolate I didn't like!
I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.
I parked my hard disk and now I can't find it!
I post... I am
I PROMISE - I won't upload in your mouth!
I promise results, not promises.
I saw, I came, I cleaned it up.
I snatch kisses. (and vice versa)
I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.
I still miss my ex-wife - but my aim is improving!
I think I strained a muscle I didn't know I had!
I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
I think the phrase rhymes with Clucking Bell
I think we must make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen... On a Wedesday.
I think, therefore I am. I think.
I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS.
I think... I am paid.
I thought I was mistaken but I was mistaken.
I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walk.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
I tried switching to gum but couldn't keep it lit.
I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused.
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
I used to have a life, then I got v32bis!
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I used to spell badlie, but now I got worser.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
I wake near the end of the day.
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
I want .50 cal machine guns as a factory option.
I warn you not to underestimate my powers.
I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.
I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.
I went on a 30-day diet - and lost 30 days!
I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.
I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
I would die happy if I saw you naked just once.
I would jog, but the ice would fall out of my glass.
I would kill or die to make love to you.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I'd like to, but last time I went I never came back..
I'd look good on you.
I'd love to, but I have to fulfill my potential.
I'd love to, but I have to rotate my crops.
I'd love to, but I have to stay home and see if I snore
I'd love to, but I prefer to remain an enigma.
I'd love to, but I think you want the OTHER Luke.
I'd love to, but I'm trying to be less popular.
I'd love to, but I've dedicated my life to linguini.
I'd love to, but my crayons all melted together.
I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I'd love to, but my patent is pending.
I'd love to, but none of my socks match.
I'd love to, but there's a disturbance in the Force.
I'd love to, but you know how we psychos are.
I'd rather have a 3.5" hard one than a 5.25" floppy one
I'd tell you more more, but you might blush.
I'll eat anything that's BRIGHT BLUE!!
I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!
I'll have what the guy in the casket had.
I'll have what the guy on the floor is having.
I'm a Bum... a BEACH Bum!
I'm a modemer and I'm OK. I post all night and I sleep all day.
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
I'm an incorrigible punster, so don't corrige me!
I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking.
I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
I'm just looking at your nametag, honest!
I'm making a career of evil.
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes.
I'm new and what's all this then?
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
I'm not a sysop, I just play one on the echoes.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
I'm not as thunk as you drink I am.
I'm not broke, I'm just badly bent.
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week
I'm not even going to ignore that.
I'm not fat just horizontally disproportionate.
I'm not loafing. I work so fast I'm always finished
I'm not lost, but I don't know where I am.
I'm not lost, I'm "locationally challenged."
I'm not on drugs. I am drugs.
I'm not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.
I'm not rude, I'm "attitudinally challenged".
I'm Not Schizophrenic, And Neither Am I.
I'm not tense, just terribly A*L*E*R*T!!
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
I'm on the crest of a slump.
I'm pink, therefore I'm spam
I'm schizophrenic, What are you?
I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention.
I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.
I'm sure it's clearly explained in the Zmodem DOC's
I'm the person your mother warned you about.
I'm turning you in to the SPCA!
I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?
I've got morals. I just don't know where they are.
I've got Parkinson's disease. And he's got mine.
I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade
I've had a hard drive, think I'll crash.
I've had fun before. This isn't it.
I've upped my standards, SO UP YOURS!
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
IBM: I've Been Misled
IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
IBM: you can buy better, but you can't pay more
If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
If all the ladies bend over, I would be very happy.
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
If at first we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, hide your astonishment.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If at first you don't succeed, you've failed failed again.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose!
If cows could fly, everyone would carry an umbrella.
If Einstein had been Black it would have been E=MC Hammer.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
If I can't fix it, it's probably dead.
If I had anything witty to say, I wouldn't put it here.
If I shot myself, my ex would sue me for the bullet
If I told you that you have a great body, would you hold it against me?
If I want any shit outta you I'll squeeze your head.
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.

[ntype]

If I were two faced, would I wear this one?
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
If in doubt, make it sound convincing.
If it feels good do it, and if it does good feel it.
If it glows don't touch it!
If it has feelings, its not cooked enough!
If it has tits or tires, there will be problems.
If it isn't broken, don't fix it.
If it isn't original, it isn't sin.
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing
If it screams it's not food... yet.
If it works, tear it apart and find out why!
If it's not going to plan, maybe there never was a plan.
If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
If it's stupid and works, then it ain't stupid
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
If love is blind, why is Lingerie so popular?
If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
IF numcooks > .maxcooks THEN;SET V broth = 'spoiled';END
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If only women came with pull-down menus and online help.
If The Shoe Fits - The Sock Fits!
If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
If this is heaven, why am I bored out of my skull?
If truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth!
If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
If wishes were horses, dogfood would be a lot cheaper.
If ya can't beat 'em... RUN!
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
If you can read this you have a modem.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
If you can't be good, be careful.
If you can't be offensive WHY BOTHER?
If you can't debug it, deplug it.
If you can't make it good, make it big.
If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good." - B. Gates
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!
If you don't think women are explosive, drop one!
If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply, because they will stop making it.
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
If you have nothing to say, please only say it once!
If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
If you meet Ken Thompson on the road, kill him.
If you mess with something long enough it'll break.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
If you prick me, do I not get turned on?
If you see an onion ring, ANSWER IT!
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
If you're a typical student, consider the fact there is
If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush..
If your behind is in front, you turned around!
Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.
Illiterate? Write for free help.
Imagery is All In The Mind.
Immoral Majority Charter Member.
Impropriety is the soul of wit.
In a fight between you and the world, back the world.
In case of fire, yell "FIRE!"
In God we trust, all others pay cash.
In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
In the land of the witless, the halfwit is king.
In war there is no substitute for victory.
Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF
Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Inertia makes the world go round.
Inferiority complex: conviction by a jury of your fears.
Ingres is not a necessary precursor to Egress.
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
Innuendo: Italian Suppository.
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
Insert inevitable trivial witticism of your choice.
Insert New Disk for Drive C: Press ENTER when ready.
Interchangeable parts won't.
INTERLACE: To tie two boots together.
Internal combustion engines are the dinosaurs' revenge
Interstellar Matter is a Gas
Invisible Systems, Inc. If you don't see it, we made it.
Iraq won the toss... and elected to receive.
Iraq's national bird?, "DUCK"
Iraqi Bingo B-52..F-16..A-10.. F-18..F-117..B-2
Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.
Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
Is FIDO a dog?
Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?
Is it possible to feel gruntled?
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?
Is that a hard drive or are you just happy to see me?
Is this a machine? I don't talk to machines! [Click]
Is this bullshit or fertilizer?
Is this the right room for an argument?
It ain't easy being easy.
It all looks the same if you're not the lead dog.
It depends on which end he tries to light.
It did what? Well, it's not supposed to do that.
It has been recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
It is always better to sacrifice your opponent's men
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
It is broke. It will not work. It does not go.
It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
It really bothers me when people cut me o...
It said "Insert disk #3", but only two will fit!
It works better if you plug it in.
It's a Tough Job!... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
It's an ill wind that gathers no moss.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
It's been a business doing pleasure with you.
It's better to burn out than to fade away.
It's clever, but is it art?
It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
It's easy to apply yourself, just use crazy glue!
It's easy to be brave from a safe distance.
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
It's hard to be serious when you're naked.
It's hard to RTFM when you can't find the FM..
It's life Jim, but not as we know it.
It's like Deja Vu all over again...
It's more than a reader. It's a message base manager!
It's never too late to have a happy childhood
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
It's redundant! It's redundant! -R. E. Dundant
It's Tekonojikly better!
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Justify my text? I'm sorry but it has no excuse.
Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
Kicked wide of the goal with such precision.
Kill them all!... Let God sort them out.
Kilroy occupied these coordinates.
Kite fliers keep it up longer.
Kleptomania: take something for it
Kleptomaniac: A rich thief.
Know God... No peace. No God... Know peace.
Know what I hate? I hate rhetorical questions!
Knowing Murphy's Law won't help either.
Land of the Single Entendre...
LATER... AS IN MUCH!!
Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Laughter: The shortest distance between two people.
Lawyers: The larval form of politicians.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way!
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Learn to splel, danmit!
Lesser artists borrow. Great artists steal.
Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it!
Let him who is stoned cast the first sin.
Let's split up, we can do more damage that way.
Liberal - a power worshiper without power.
Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.
Life is a sandwich, and it's always lunchtime
Life is a series of very rude awakenings.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease
Life is anything that dies when you stomp it!
Life is like a car-wash and I'm on a bicycle.

[ntype]

Life is only as long as you live it.
Life is Roff when yer Stewpid
Life is serious, but ART is fun!
Life is uncertain... eat dessert first!
Life sucks, but Death swallows!
Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
Life's a bitch, and then you marry one.
Life's a witch, then you fly.
Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.
Likes and dislikes are among my favorites
Liposuction will destroy your FAT
LISP: To call a spade a thpade.
Living poor is best left to those with no money.
Logic is neither an art or a science but a dodge.
Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence...
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
Love is grand. Divorce is twenty grand.
Love your neighbor but don't get caught.
LSD: virtual reality without the expensive hardware.
M.A.D.D.: Midgets Against Desk Drawers.
Macho does not prove Mucho.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can't be fixed...
Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Make it do... Or do without.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Make like a bottom and split.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Make like a shepherd and get the flock out of here.
Make like a Tom and Cruise.
Make like a tree and leave.
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
Man has his will. Woman has her won't!
Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain.
Man who get hit by car,get that run down feeling
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Managing programmers is like herding cats.
Maniac: An early computer built by nuts...
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Marching to a different kettle of fish.
Marilyn Monroe? A vacuum with nipples.
Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
Marriage? Sorry, I can't mate in captivity.
Marry your mistress, create a job vacancy.
Mary had a little lamb, a little beef, a little ham.
Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.
Master Baiter
Mastermind specialist subject - the bleedin' obvious..
Masturbation is coming unscrewed.
MASTURBATION... the human version of AUTOEXEC.BAT.
Math is the language God used to write the universe.
Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence.
May the bugs of many programs nest on your hard drive.
May the Porsche be with you.
May you live in interesting times.
May your life be filled with experiences.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Maybe your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Me and my two friends... GIF and Wesson.
Me know gammar. Me cood use it gud.
Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve it's dignity
Megabyte: A nine course dinner.
Memory dump: Amnesia...
Memory is a thing we forget with.
Men play the game; women know the score.
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence
Microfiche: Sardines.
Microwave: Signal from a friendly micro...
Migratory lifeform with a tropism for parties
Mind if I rape your daughter?
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
Modem sex begins with a handshake.
Modem sex, the next best thing to being there.
Modem: How a Southerner asks for seconds...
Modem: What landscapers do to dem lawns.
Modems... reach out and BYTE someone!
Mommy! The cursor's winking at me!
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Mondays are the potholes in the road of life
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.
Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Most gays have heterosexual parents.
Most of us have been at work for several hours now.
Mother is the invention of necessity.
Mother Nature is a bitch.
Motion your finger to a girl to get her to come your way. When she arrives say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would c*m".
Multitasking = 3 PCs and a chair with wheels!
Multitasking causes schizophrenia.
Multitasking: Reading in the bathroom
Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once...
Murphy is out there... waiting...
Murphy was an optimist.
Must Go - My Rotweiler needs its teeth sharpened.
My BBS is baroque now. Please call Bach later with your Handel.
My best friend is a social worker.
My computer has a terminal illness
My computer isn't that nervous...it's just a bit ANSI.
My computer NEVER cras
My computer puts out.
My computer's sick, I think my modem's a carrier
My couch potato routine honed to perfection
My fallacies are more logical than your fallacies.
My foolish parents taught me to read and write.
My Go this amn keyboar oesn't have any 's.
My God can beat up YOUR god...
My hat covers my head... Just like hair used to!
My head is sore, and there's a hole in the brick wall!
My I.U.D. picks up Radio Windy.
My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours.
My karma ran over my dogma
My kingdom for a beer; half my beer for a woman.
My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring.
My lord, I have a cunning plan...
My lucky color just faded.
My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
My message above. Your response here ____________.
My modem can beat up your modem.
My other car is a broom!
My other computer is a abacus.
My RAM's not what it used to be, so don't quote me.
My software never has bugs; it just develops random features.
My tagline can beat up your tagline!
My weight is perfect for my height... which varies.
Naaah, real men don't read docs.
Nanosecond: Mork's stunt man.
Neil Armstrong tripped.
NETWORK: What fishermen do when not fishing.
Neurotic: Self-taut person.

[ntype]

Never argue with a woman when she's tired, or rested.
Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
Never before have so few puked so much on so many.
Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you
Never eat yellow snow!
Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.
Never go with the odds
Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist!
Never let your feet run faster than your shoes.
Never mind the facts - I know what I know.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Never shove your granny while she's shaving.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
Never violate the Prime Directory! C:\
New Highway gets Railroaded.
Newsbytes - Microsoft announce EDLIN for Windows.
Next time you wave, use ALL of your fingers!!
Nice computers don't go down.
Nice shoes. Wanna f*ck?
Nice tits Mind if I feel them?
Nihilism should commence with oneself.
Nil taurus excretum. No El Toro Poopoo either!
Ninety per cent of everything is crap.
Nitpicking: Not just a hobby, it's a way of life!
Nitrate: Lower than the day rate.
No free lunch in an ecosystem.
No matter what they SAY, size IS important!
No matter where you go, there you are.
NO MORE BU__ SH__
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
No one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
No wanna work... wanna bang on keyboard!
No, I'm from NZ. I only work in Outer Space.
No?! Some people still read mail a packet at a time?!
Nobody has ever, ever, EVER learned all of WordPerfect.
Nodding the head does not row the boat.
None of you exist, my Sysop types all this in.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Nostalgia: The good old days multiplied by a bad memory...
Not many people realize just how well known I am.
Not quite human any longer.
Not tonight honey... I have a modem
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Nothing is impossible for anyone impervious to reason.
Nothing recedes like success.
Nothing succeeds like excess.
Nothing this evil EVER dies!
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
Now is not a good time to annoy me
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Now where did I put that rubber doll?
NOW, B*TCH!
Nudist Camp sign - Sorry, Clothed for Winter.
Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
Nuke the baby seals for Jesus
NUMBER CRUNCHING: Jumping on a Computer.
Objection, your Honor! My client is an idiot!
Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder
Objects in taglines are closer than they appear.
Obscenity is whatever gives a judge an erection.
Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Oh goody! Another Muranium Explosive Space Modulator!
Oh no you don't! Your not stealing this one!
Oh no, not another learning experience!
Oh yeah? Well, beam *THIS* up, pal!
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Old MacDonald had a computer with an EIE I/O
On a clear disk you can seek forever. -Computerworld button
On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.
On an electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts
On the other hand, you also have 5 fingers.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
On the unlabeled disk? HELL they're all unlabeled!
One atom bomb can really ruin your day.
One good turn gets most of the blanket.
One in Kate Bush is worth two in the Hand.
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do...
One legged girls are pushovers.
One man's meat is another's editor.
One man's upload is another man's download.
One man's Windows are another man's walls.
One night I came home very late. It was the next night
One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip...
Only a wimpy God can't get it right the first time!
Only cosmetologists give make-up exams.
Only God can make random selections.
Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
Open Mouth. Insert Foot. Chew Carefully.
Open mouth. Insert Foot. Echo internationally.
Open your drive door, honey.
OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am.
Oprah spelt backwards is Harpo!
Optimization hinders evolution.
ORG.ASM Not Found. Wife not happy!
Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
OS/2 - Not just another pretty program loader!
OS/2 - Windows with bullet-proof glass.
OS/2 VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"
OUCH! Got my floppy caught in my PKZipper!
Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.
OUT TO LUNCH - If not back at five, OUT TO DINNER!
Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees!
Overload--core meltdown sequence initiated.
Oxymoron - Definite possibility
Oxymoron - Military Intelligence
Oxymoron: Bosnian Cease-Fire
Oxymoron: Soviet Union.
Pagan and Proud
Pagan Missionary
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
Palindrome isn't one.
Pandemonium doesn't reign here... It pours!
Paranoia is heightened awareness.
Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
Pascal: What's it Wirth?
Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
Patience is a virtue that carries a lot of WAIT!
PCBackup: 1 of 1362 disks.
Peace through superior firepower.
Peanuts: The Drinking Man's Filter.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
People are always available for work in the past tense.
People say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't!
People will die this year that never died before
Permission for lip to wobble, Sir?
Perot/Bush/Quayle: The Millionaire, Skipper & Gilligan.
Pet Store: "Buy one, get one flea."
Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.
Photographers do it in dark rooms.
Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!
PI seconds is a nanocentury. - Tom Duff, Bell Labs
PIMP: a fornicaterer.
Pizza IS the four food groups!
PKZip - it's not just for downloads anymore
Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.
Plagiarism prohibited, derive carefully.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Please don't drink and post.
Please don't filter this twit.
PMS- Presentation Manager Syndrome.
Pobody's Nerfect!
Poets go from bad to verse
Point not found. A)bort, R)eread, I)gnore.
Poker rules supplement: A .44 Magnum beats 4 aces.
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Political panjandrums prologize pedantic paronomasia.
Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.
Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
Polymer physicists are into chains.

[ntype]

Pornography? We don't even have a pornograph!
Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Power corrupts, but we need electricity.
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
Praise the lord and pass the ammunition.
Predestination was doomed from the start.
Predicting the future of technology is fraud with peril!
Prepare to meet thy GOD! (Evening dress optional)
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue...
Press all the keys at once to continue...
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday.
Programmers do it in loops.
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Programmers get overlaid!
Programming is an art form that fights back.
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Prosecutors will be violated
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. If they're OK, you're it.
Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Psychologists only do it if they feel good about it
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Push any key. Then push the any other key.
Push the limit, and the limit will move away!
Put on your seatbelt. I wanna try something.
Put people on hold when possible.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of
Queen Elizabeth rules, UK?
Question Authority, ask me anything
Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
RAID Antivirus - Kills Virus's DEAD!!!
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
RAM DISK is not an installation procedure!
Rampaging anarchist horde and floating beer party.
Rap music is Oxymoron.
Read my chips: No new upgrades!
Read what I mean, not what I write.
Real men don't set for stun.
Real men write self-modifying code.
Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle buttons.
Reality Is An Illusion Caused By Lack Of Acid
Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
REALITY.DAT not found. Press any key to reset Universe.
REALITY.SYS Corrupted - Unable To Recover Universe
REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Really ?? What a coincidence, I'm shallow too!!
RECOVER.COM: a little slice of hell
Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.
Redundancy: A Politician with an airbag in his car.
Refuse Novocain... Transcend Dental Medication!
Regal Lager, It's not just a beer... It's a palindrome!
Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS!
Religion... is the opium of the masses.
Remember guys : There is no such thing as a girl who won't say YES. Just guys who don't know how to ask.
Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
Remember when safe sex meant not getting caught?
Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.
Resistance is useless! (If < 1 ohm)
RESTORE A: C:\VIRGINITY\*.* /S
Return((usBirdInHand = 2 * InTheBush()));
Reusable Condoms: Just shake the fuck out of them.
Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.
Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals.
Richard Nixon means never having to say you're sorry.
Roses are red, and violets are too expensive for you.
Roses are red, Violet's are blue, And mine are white.
Rotisserie: a ferris wheel for chickens.
Round up the usual suspects!
Round, round, get around. I've gotten round!
Rubber bands have snappy endings!
Rugby is played by men with odd-shaped balls!
Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!
Saddam eats his Kurds
Sarcasm: barbed ire.
Save a whale, harpoon a fat person.
Save energy: be apathetic.
Save fuel. Get cremated with a friend.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Save your money for a rainy day, or a new computer!
Say it with flowers - Give her a triffid.
Say yer prayers, y' flea-bitten' varmint.
Say, didn't we go to different schools together?
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Schizophrenia rules. OK. OK.
Science asks why. I ask why not.
Science: preconception meeting verification.
Scientists discover life causes cancer.
Scrute the inscrutable, eff the ineffable.
SCUD : Sure Could Use Directions
See how you can be?
Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Send lawyers, guns, & money...
SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory...
Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
Serfs up! - Spartacus
Serving the scum of Paris for over 300 years
SET DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
Set mode=Extremely verbose
Sex is a killer... want to die happy?
Sex is only a pain in the arse if you miss
Sex on TV can't hurt you unless you fall off!
Sex, Sex, Sex... the pleasure of having a 1 track mind.
Sex: the most fun you can have without laughing.
Sexual Harassment starts at the office.
Shareware author dies: .GIF at eleven!
She (to passing man) : Excuse me, do you have the time? He : Do you have the energy?
She is blonde/tall/beautiful, and as a Z80 for a brain
She was another one of his near Mrs.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
Shell to DOS... Come in DOS... Do you copy? Shell to DOS...
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Short people are vertically challenged.
Should I or shouldn't I?... Too late, I did!
Should I weed the lawn or say it's a garden?
Sign here please:_______________________Thanks
Sign on a clothing store - Come inside and have a fit.
Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.
Sign on Closed Nuclear Power Plant... "Gone Fission"
Signito ergo sum - I sign therefore I am.
Simon says: don't be so suggestible.
Sit down, you're rocking the boat!
Six of one, 110 (base 2) of another.
Skating away on the thin ice of a new day.
Sky's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
Slit your wrists - it will lower your blood pressure.
Slower Traffic Keep Right - Is that so difficult?
Slug Sautee: a hors of a different d'oeuvre.
Small changes pick up the reins from nowhere.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
Smile if you are Jesus
Smiley faces were meant to be annoying.
Smoking is a leading cause of statistics.
Smurf exterminator.
So dry & yet so wet.
So many bytes, so few cps...
So many damsels, so little time...
So many lawyers, so few bullets...
So many toys, so little time...
So much time, and so little to do...
So, what would you like for breakfast?
Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.
Software Independent: Won't work with ANY software.
Software means never having to say you're finished.
Some days you're a bug, some days you're a windshield.
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
Some days, nothing goes left.
Some people are afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.
Some people are so nice to be nasty to.
Some things have got to be believed to be seen.
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
Something is rotten in the state of confusion.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Sometimes they just grow, and grow, and grow...
Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
Sorry about your Rectocranial Inversion.
Sorry, my English is not very good. No punt intended.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
Space is an illusion, disk space doubly so.
Space is big. Really big.
Speaking only for myself, one of my many tricks.
SPECIMEN: An Italian astronaut.
Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
Spell chequers dew knot work write.
Spelling checkers at maximum! Fire!
Spelling problems? use "error-correcting" modems!
Spice is the variety of life.
Squeeze my Lemon, till the juice runs down my leg...
Stack Error: Lost on a cluttered desk...
Stack manipulation - the use of inflatable falsies. -Datamazing, 4/1/78
Stack Overflow: Too many pancakes...
Stamp out philately!
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
Stand on the toilet, get high on pot.

[ntype]

Standing there making a sitting target of himself.
Steal my cash, car and TV - but leave the computer!
Stealth condoms: she'll never even see you coming...
Sterility is hereditary.
STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work.
Strike any user when ready.
STRING space corrupt? But I always use TAPE!
Strip mining prevents forest fires.
Stroking a furry pussy will get you scratched.
STUPIDITY is NOT a HANDICAP! Park elsewhere!
Subvert the dominant paradigm!
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
Sumo Wrestling: survival of the fattest.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius
Supernovae are a Blast
Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
Support the helpless victims of computers.
Surprise your boss. Get to work on time.
SUSHIDO the way of the tuna
Swish, two, three, four! Swish, two, three, four!
Sylvester Stallone: father of the RISC concept.
SYNTAX? Why not--they tax everything else!
SYSOP's read minds. But QWKly, very, very QWKly!
System Crash (A)bort ®etry (T)hrowup
Tact: knowing how far to go too far.
Tact: making a point without making an enemy.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
Take off that dress and fuck my brains out you cave newt.
Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand.
Tampons $1 a dozen! No strings attached!
Taurus Excretum Ad Infinitum...
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
Teamwork is essential. It gives them another target.
Techno Pagan.
Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
Terminal glare: A look that kills...
Terminator bumpersticker: I TIME TRAVEL NAKED.
Texas Toilet paper, it don't take s**t off anyone.
Thank you very little.
That ain't so good English!
That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed...
That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
That that is is not that that is not.
That was ZEN -- this is TAO
That'll be $67.50 CCCHHHHHIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!
That's inches away from being millimeter perfect.
The 11th COMMANDMENT - Thou shalt not be a smartass!
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.
The best way to accelerate a Mac is at -9.8 m/sec^2
The best way to keep friends is not to give them away.
The best way to win an argument is to be right.
The buck doesn't even slow down here!
The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
The cause of problems are solutions!
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
The cost of feathers has risen... Now even DOWN is up!
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
The cream rises to the top. So does the scum...
The Czech's in the mail. Sending Frenchman by FAX.
The dentist said my wisdom teeth were retarded.
The dog ate my .REP packet.
The dreadful burden of having nothing to do.
The drunker I sit here, The longer I get.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
The first blonde is the cheapest.
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with i
The first myth of management is that it exists.
The fish that escaped is the big one.
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
The French defense isn't...
The further I go, the behinder I get.
The game's a little bit wide open again.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The gene pool has no lifeguard.
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
THE GOLDEN RULE: He who has the gold makes the rules
The hangman let us down.
The hardest thing about time travel is the grammar.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!
The Lab called... Your brain is ready!
The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.
The little engineer that could
The margin is very marginal.
The meek shall inherit the earth, if that's OK with you
The mind is like a parachute - it works only when open.
The moral majority is neither.
The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
The name is Baud, James Baud.
The Official Offline Reader of The Lunatic Fringe!
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
The other line always moves faster until you get in it.
The patient's taken a turn for the nurse.
The penalty for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law.
The pendulum has gone full circle.
The polls show 8 out of 5 schizophrenics agree!
The problem with the gene is lack of life guards
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'. -Weinberg, p.152
The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
The rich get richer; the poor get babies.
The road to success is always under construction.
The score didn't really reflect the outcome.
The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
The shortest distance between two points is off the wall
The simple explanation always follows the complex solution
The sixth sheikh's sixth sheep's sick.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
The superfluous is very necessary.
The thrill is gone, the thrill is gone baby
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain
The Universe is a big place... perhaps the biggest
The unnatural, that too is natural.
The Vatican Express Card. Don't leave Rome without it.
The vine Jane! No the vine! aaiiieeeee...
The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle.
The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
The whole world is about three drinks behind
The world gets a little better every day and worse in the evening.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
The world is so big and so global now.
The world's coming to an end. Log off and leave in an orderly fashion.
The worst day's fishing is better than the best day's work.
Then do the pelvic thrust.
Then somebody spoke, and I went into a dream...
There are 2 ways to handle women and I know neither.
There are many things I could say...
There are no atheists in the foxholes.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
There is always one more son-of-a-bitch than you counted on.
There is an exception to every rule, except this one.
There is much Obiwan did not tell you.
There is no dark side of the moon. Really.
There is no God! He just thinks he's there!
There is no remedy for fun but more fun!
There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
There is something to be said about me: "Wow!!"
There will be no last bus tonight.
There's a hot place with pitchforks waiting.
There's no future in time travel
There's one in every car... You'll see.
There's safety in numbers/When you learn to divide.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them!
Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
Think "HONK" if you're a telepath.
This BBS is ancient. Some say from the echocene.
THIS definitely takes, eats and shits the cake.
This is abuse. Arguments are down the hall.
This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
This isn't hell, but I can see it from here.
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
This line intentionally left unjustified.
This login session: $13.99, but for you $11.88
This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
This message was typed on recycled phosphorous.
This mind intentionally left blank.
This phone is baroque; please call Bach later.
This program makes me look like a genius.
This tagline is SHAREWARE! To Register, send me $10.
This tagline was created from many little letters.
This time it will surely run.
Those who can't write, write manuals.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, simulate.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, supervise!
Those who live by the nit, die by the nit
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
Thy logick, like thy locks, is disarrayed;
Tie a yellow ribbon around Jane Fonda's neck..
Tilt your chair back, your breath is effecting my RAM!
Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
Time flies like an arrow - Fruit flies like a banana
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
Tis better to be hunter than hunted.
Tis better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
To all virgins. Thanks for nothing
To be or Not is the Result!
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.

[Vitamin E]

Do I even need to say it?

[ntype]

To boldly go and watch Star Trek re-runs.
To define recursion, we must first define recursion.
To do nothing is also a good remedy.
To eat is human, to digest, divine.
To err is human, to blame someone else is politics.
To err is human, to eat Jello, is messy.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
To err is human, to moo bovine
To err is human, to really screw up it takes a computer!
To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.
To live forever, acquire a chronic disease and take care of it.
To me personally, it's nothing personal to me.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism -- to steal from many is research.
To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition
Today is Monday, cleverly disguised as Tuesday.
Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
Today is the first day of the rest of this mess.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
Todays assembler command : EXOP Execute Operator
Todays subliminal message is " "
Tolkien is hobbit-forming.
Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
Too much month at the end of the money.
Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
Took an hour to bury the cat. Silly thing kept moving.
Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore...
Touch if you must, Pay up if you bust.
Toys are made in heaven, batteries are made in hell.
Trees hit cars only in self-defence.
Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!
Tried to play my shoehorn... all I got was footnotes!
Trojan: Storage device for replicating codes...
Trust me -- I'm a Lawyer.
Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo
Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question!
Turn right here. No! NO! The OTHER right!
Turning floppies into hard drives.
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Two elephants fell off a cliff. Boom Boom.
Two is company, three is an orgy.
Two peanuts went to New York. One was assaulted.
Two seals fell off a cliff. Arf Arf
Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.
Two's company, three's the result.
Typographers rule, OQ
Tyre Shop sign - We Skid You Not.
UART what UEAT!
UFO's are real: the Air Force doesn't exist.
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
Ultimate Question Research Team
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
Unburdened by the rigors of coherent thought.
Unix and the world Unix with you; VAX and you VAX alone.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
Until people grow up, they have no idea what's cool
Useless as windshield wipers on a duck's ass.
Users, losers -- what's the difference?
Variables won't; constants aren't.
VD is nothing to clap about.
Veni Vidi Visa: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
Veterinarians drive like animals.
Vidi, Vici, Veni: I saw, I conquered, I came
Virginity can be cured.
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
VLSI: "Getting High On Low Voltage"
Volcano -- a mountain with hiccups.
Vulcans have less fun.
Vultures only fly with carrion luggage.
WAITER! there's soup in my fly!
Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! - Kermit
Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.
Walls impede my progress
Wanna flirt with disaster? Become a SysOp!
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
Wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.
Want a jelly baby?
Want a LAUGH run a spell check on DSZ docs.
Want a stupid answer? Ask me anything!
Wanted - Man to wash dishes and two waitresses.
Wanted: Volcano. Average size. Must be active.
War News: Saddam's army blown away by Thai hookers.
WARNING... drinking tap water can kill your thirst!
WARNING: my messages are offensive to morons!
Warning: Politicians can damage your wealth.
Warning: Whimsical when bored.
Was it as good for you, as it was for me?
Was that your wife I saw in that GIF?
Was today really Necessary?
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone had to steal the stars from the sky and place them in your eyes.
Wasting time is an important part of living.
Water + Malt + Hops + Yeast = Satisfaction
Wave to your neighbor, word to your mother.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
We are not a clone.
We are the people our parents warned us about
We don't care. We don't have to. We're Telecom...
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
We have here the latest in primitive technology.
We seem to have juxtaposed an impasse here

[ntype]

We take drugs very seriously at my house...
We were unanimous - in fact everyone was unanimous.
We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
We'll give you piece de resistance and a tour de force.
We're as similar as two dissimilar things in a pod.
We're lost, but we're making good time.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
Weeping, I wake; waking, I weep, I weep.
Welcome to New Zealand, set your watch back 20 years.
Well cover me in egg & flour and bake me for 14 minutes
Well, pluck me naked as a scalded chicken!
What are you doing?!? The message is over, GO AWAY!
What can you do for me?
What care I how time advances: I am drinking ale today.
What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
What could possibly go wrong.
What do batteries run on?
What do you call a female clown? A Clunt :-)
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full!
What do you feed a Trojan horse? A latex lollipop!
What do you mean that 2 years have passed??
What does this red button do?
What else can you do at 3:00 am?
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What goes up has probably been doused with petrol.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
What's Irish and stays out all night? Pati O'furniture.
When 911 won't work .357 will!
When asked for a match: How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
When in doubt, think.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
When your opponent is down, kick him.
Who glued the cup to the table?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Whoever has the most when he dies... WINS!
Whoops, stepped on a frog.
Whosoever diggeth a pit shall falleth therein.
Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
Why are you looking down here? The joke is above!
Why are you wasting time reading taglines?
Why be a man when you can be a success?
Why can't we just spell it orderves?
Why did the Albanion working class revolt?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why do the Kennedy men cry after sex? MACE.
Why do you think they call it "find"?
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk
Why get even, when you can get odd?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat
Windows: Just another pain in the glass.
Winston Peters, a rebel without a caucus.
Winter is nature's way of saying "up yours".
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
Wit is cultured insolence.
With a mind like yours, who needs a body.
With friends like these, who needs to hallucinate?
With friends like you, who needs enemas.
Without music, life would be a mistake.
Without Time, everything would happen at once.
Woman was God's second mistake.
WOMAN.ZIP... Great program but no documentation.
WOMAN.ZIP: Great Shareware, but be careful of viruses...
Women do come with instructions; ask them.
Women get minks the same way minks get minks.
Women! Can't live with 'em and no resale value...
Women! Can't live with'um, can't shoot'um.
WOMEN: Weird Obnoxious Male Enticing Nymphs
Work is for people who can't.
Work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.
World ends today at 9:30 pm! Film at 11:00...
Worry: The interest paid on trouble before it's due.
Worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe.
Would a virgin be called a notyeterosexual?
Would I ask you a rhetorical question?
Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
Would you like to dance, or should I go fuck myself again?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann??
WYTYSYDG-What you thought you saw, you didn't get.
Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.
You buttered your bread, now lie in it.
You can name your salary here. I call mine Fred.
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
You have the ass of a great artist.
You have the right to remain silent... Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
You hit the nail right between the eyes.
You know what I like about you? My arms.
You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book... So what's one more??
You want I should bop you with this here Lollipop?!?
Your e-mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.
Your face or Mine?
Your feet have balls but not vice versa?
Your friendly neighborhood Atheist.
Your place, or mine?
ZMODEM: Big bits, Soft blocks, Tighter ASCII...

[leeman]

Bored Nboy ?????

[ntype]

Bored Nboy ?????

don't want to work today >< and I have to and I do.


I hate.

[cLaY]

I didn't read all of that, just the first 3 posts.

[Jdub]

I think Nboy is actually a bot

[ntype]

I think Nboy is actually a bot

sassy was my bitch :ph34r: