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For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - Printable Version

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For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - minorthreat - 08-07-2005

Anhil8tor Wrote:did he run away?


The pressure was too much. Tyrone Xaviar wins!

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - Flumper Barflusterbutt - 08-07-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:I'm 0 for 2.
Try wearing a collared shirt. Those gay bars are very discriminating.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - TomFoolery - 08-07-2005

Stoney Wrote:What the hell, it's Sunday, I'm loading the bowl - let's go with the long.

OK. Let me lay some groundwork:

I work for a company that sells computer software and hardware over the phone. We work with some very large distributors (Fortune 500 companies), and one of the distributors schedules a training seminar for their top clients about 4 times a year. This seminar happened to be in Tampa, FL from Wednesday through Saturday, and I was the one that attended from our company.

I choose to attend the "Psychology of Consultative Selling" course that was offered, and it was a really informative class. This dude named Walter Santiago taught the four 2 hour long sessions, and he was $$$. One of the sessions had to do with overcoming phone objections when cold calling. Here's an important example that will fit into the story later:

Objection: Sorry, I'm already working with someone else.

Response: That's cool, but you never know what tomorrow will bring. Let me meet with you for just 20 minutes, and we can jointly discuss if my offerings will be able to help you out. Does Tuesday at 3:00 work for you?



Now that we've got that out of the way, let me continue with the story.

The other 250 attendees and I go to GameWorks in Ybor City for dinner that night; there's free buffets and all the beer/wine you can drink at no charge. We all get smashed for 3 hours and then go to the Green Iguana club down the street. The female I was networking with from the Psych. of Selling course seemed pretty interested in me (read: was completely smashed), so after a couple of hours worth of mingling/dancing/light petting we decide to get out of there. The other consultants there thought I was $$$; here I am taking one of the only single girls in attendance back to the hotel room for an appointment with my cock.

We take a cab back to the hotel, and she's holding my hand and snuggling and shit, kissing me a little and whatnot. We get to the hotel, and the first thing she says to me in the elevator is "I hope you don't think anything is going to happen tonight. I've got a boyfriend back home."

My response was, "Hey...what happens in Tampa stays in Tampa." She didn't buy it. If only I had said "That's cool, but you never know what tomorrow will bring. Let me meet with you for just 20 minutes, and we can jointly discuss if my offerings will be able to give you an orgasm or two. Does 10 minutes from now work for you?", I would have stolen the pussy for sure.

So we go back to my hotel room to chill, and she sits on my bed about as far away from me as possible. After about 5 minutes of listening to her discuss her life, she hops up and says she has to leave.









Last night I was hanging out at the bar and there was a bachelorette party there. Some female named Claire starts talking to me and shit, and of course I'm making her laugh because I'm so fucking money. She tells me to come back to her friend's place for a small little after bar. There's me and two of my boys, and then 3 girls and the bachelorette in attendance. The fact that the beds were taken by the drunk bachelorette and some random other people hurt my chances of getting some, but we were still laying on the couch by ourselves and shooting the shit. Then she says that she's got to go home to feed her dogs. She says that I'm more than welcome to come over there sometime, but specified that it had to be during the day. She put her number in my phone and bounced.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - TomFoolery - 08-07-2005

minorthreat Wrote:Agreed. It would have helped if he had said him and Tyrion Xavier were neck and neck for "Top Dog" of the year.

I will bloody your face if we ever meet.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - Blueeyedwoman - 08-07-2005

That story made me hot.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - minorthreat - 08-07-2005

That's why I just use this:

[Image: Poser%20Hand.jpg]

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - Flumper Barflusterbutt - 08-07-2005

This story reminds me of all of the people that probably rode a bus or ate lunch next to Jeffery Dahmer and never knew how close they came to a horrific and awful event.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - minorthreat - 08-07-2005

Flumper Barflusterbutt Wrote:This story reminds me of all of the people that probably rode a bus or ate lunch next to Jeffery Dahmer and never knew how close they came to a horrific and awful event.


Or the noob who has glanced at a Tyrion Xavier thread and proceeded on by.




This is the last post about him, promise.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - Blondie - 08-07-2005

They didn't offer "how to close the deal" classes?

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - minorthreat - 08-07-2005

Here's some advice. The line of, "This dick isn't gonna suck it's self" never works dood.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - TomFoolery - 08-07-2005

minorthreat Wrote:Here's some advice. The line of, "This dick isn't gonna suck it's self" never works dood.

Yeah, I should have just whipped out my cock at the bar and touched her leg with it. I heard that works wonders.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - Blueeyedwoman - 08-07-2005

Blondie Wrote:They didn't offer "how to close the deal" classes?

Tom, please register here:


http://doubleyourdating.com/overture?ovchn=OVR&ovcpn=sellingkeywords&ovcrn=to+get+laid&ovtac=PPC&OVRAW=%2

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - snarg - 08-07-2005

i had a friend who had an unlikely method and a surprisingly high success rate:

he pulled out his dick and swung it around
don't knock it till you try it
he schlenkied some hot chicks using this

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - TomFoolery - 08-07-2005

Blondie Wrote:They didn't offer "how to close the deal" classes?

They did. One day after my encounter with her.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - St0ney - 08-07-2005

If it helps, I'd have done you.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - TomFoolery - 08-07-2005

Stoney Wrote:If it helps, I'd have done you.

It does help. Thank you.


Where did I go wrong?

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - St0ney - 08-07-2005

Sounds like you didn't really have a chance of it from the start.

Either that, or you're too nice. When it's about hitting and quitting it, you have to be charming, yes, but also a huge dickhead.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - TomFoolery - 08-07-2005

Stoney Wrote:Sounds like you didn't really have a chance of it from the start.

Either that, or you're too nice. When it's about hitting and quitting it, you have to be charming, yes, but also a huge dickhead.

That's where the problem lies--I found out that night that she's been dealing with a co-worker of mine for the past two years, and they have a great working relationship. If I acted like a jerk then it may have improved my chances of autographing her vagina with my penis, but it could have had unsermountable negative business effects.

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - snarg - 08-07-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:That's where the problem lies--I found out that night that she's been dealing with a co-worker of mine for the past two years, and they have a great working relationship. If I acted like a jerk then it may have improved my chances of autographing her vagina with my penis, but it could have had unsermountable negative business effects.



this could have "unsermountable" negative effects on your advancement in your chosen field

For The Second Time in 3 Nights, I Left The Bar Thinking I Was Getting Laid - TomFoolery - 08-07-2005

snarg Wrote:this could have "unsermountable" negative effects on your advancement in your chosen field

If I told you that I was watching the last lap of the 1994 Indianapolis 500 on ESPN Classic while typing, would you understand the mistake?