[APB]

1. the journey of a thousand miles starts with a broken fan belt, and a leaking tire.

1. its always darkest just before dawn. if your gonna steal your neighbours paper, then thats when to do it.

1. sex is like air. its not important unless your not getting any.

1. noone is listening untill you fart.

1. always remember your unique. just like everyone else.

1. never test the depth of water with both feet.

1. if you think nobody cares your alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

1. if at first you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you.

1. give a man a fish, and he'll eat for the day. teach him how to fish, and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

1. if you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probly worth it.

1. some days you are the bug. others you are the windshield.

1. dont worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

1. good judgement comes from bad experience. and most of that comes from bad judgement.

1. the quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half, and put it in your pocket.

1. there are two theories to arguing with women. neither one works.

1. a closed mouth gathers no foot.

1. never miss a good chance to shut up.

1. there is a fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'.

1. no matter what happens, somehow, someone will find a way to take it too seroiusly.

1. everyone seems normal untill you get to know them.