[leucetios]

Found Here

[b]Are you a butcher? Do you have a walk-in freezer? - w4mw - 27

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: anon-34648852@craigslist.org
Date: Thu Jun 24 12:54:22 2004


Because if you do... i need your help. Seriously.

See, here's the problem. Last week, I spent some time out in the sun. It was great, exactly what I needed, even! However, I spent a little TOO much time and managed to give myself a fairly sizeable sunburn.

Now, not being one to burn easily, I wasn't sure what to do. So - my roommate being the ever prepared gayboy that he is - hands me this lovely bottle of aloe vera lotion. "Here, love.. put this on your sunburn. It will help soothe you!"

Being the good little girl that I am - I do as I'm told. I know to never, ever fuck with a gay man and his "product"! So I start to slather it on.. oh my. Does this feel phenomenal, or what? It's so nice and cool! It makes my hot, dry, burned flesh feel supple and smooth again! I think I'm in heaven!

An hour or so passes by.. and i notice that my skin is getting awfully itchy. And what?! What is this?! *peering closer* What are these red bumps?! Oh my fucking god, this is itchy! I can't stop tearing away at my own skin..

Well.. to make a very long, sad story short.. I am one of the very few people in the world who is allergic to aloe vera. Don't ask me how. Don't ask me why. But i am.

So - why the hell am i posting in casual encounters looking for a butcher or someone with access to a walk-in freezer?!?

Because i need you. The only thing that helps me, is cool, scratch that (heh - pun was so not intended there) - no, i'm talking freezing cold air. Air conditioners - unless you can put them on like 40 degrees - aren't going to cut it.

So - I want to use you for your freezer. I want to get naked, put my cream on all these gross little polka dots, and lay in your nice, cold freezer. Please.

If somehow, this turns you on (you freak) - feel free to watch through that little window and jerk off. I could even masturbate for you. Maybe. Not sure how the whole lube thing works in the freezer.. but i'm willing to try.

I just need your freezer.
I'm miserable.

And quite literally going mad.
please help me.
please.

signed,
itch-girl 

[/b]

[APB]

Do real people put this on there? I knew there were idiots out there but come on.

[St0ney]

dissssss-gusting


Another prime example of why my pasty ass stays out of the sun.