[Velvet]

911 CALLS - The following exchanges are supposedly taken from transcripts
of
911 calls:

Caller: "I'd like to make a unanimous complaint, so don't use my name."

Caller: "I'm reporting a deer on the road. I almost hit it."
Call-taker: "Is the deer alive?"
Caller: "Oh, no, it's run over. Many, many cars. Again and again, and - OH
NO!!! NOT AGAIN!"

Caller: "Am I talking to a real person, or is this a recording?"

Caller: "We might (cough) need the fire department here (cough)."

Caller: "Is it okay for a civilian to take a person to the hospital, or
does
the ambulance have to do it?"

Caller: "He's not breathing!"
Call-taker: "Can you get the phone close to him?
Caller: "WHY? You want to hear he's not breathing, too?"

Call-taker: "Does she have any weapons?"
Caller: "Well, she has real long finger nails."

Call-taker: "We'll need a description of him."
Caller: "He's a lawyer."

Caller: "No, she just didn't fall...I helped her!"