[snarg]

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford
batteries.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of
pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call
them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they
re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali
pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh
Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by
the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!

And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide
Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was
suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

[Anhil8tor]

And its all Obamas fault.

[snarg]

you are a complete dumb ass
if you can't laugh at this you might as well kill yourself

[squirt]

I got a laugh. Thanks, snarg.

[BIRD33]

Unemployment is ticking downward and some people are starting to show a little optimism and use the word "recovery" when talking about the economy.Also Obama's approval rating is over 50% which is higher then Reagans was during the same point of his first term.Lets use this thread to congratulate and if needed(8) apologize to Obama.I'll start.Congrats Barack, you're doing a hell of a job considering half the country is racist and stupid.

[Anhil8tor]

I'd like to use this space to take the time to thank Ben Bernanke for all that he has done to help this economy get on the right track.


Now if only we here in Louisiana could go back to work....

[BIRD33]

I can feel the healing begin between 8 and Obama.Maybe 2011 will be different for this place.Someone get Leu here so he can talk it out with jimmy about the ol' sorry for trying to bang your wife snafu.

[Anhil8tor]

I can feel the healing begin between 8 and Obama.Maybe 2011 will be different for this place.Someone get Leu here so he can talk it out with jimmy about the ol' sorry for trying to bang your wife snafu.

Lets welcome paddy back too. No reason to hold adultery against him and his pregnant wife... unless of course he is a dentist and lives near G$dawg

[BIRD33]

Lets welcome paddy back too. No reason to hold adultery against him and his pregnant wife... unless of course he is a dentist and lives near G$dawg

I still hold a special place in my heart for paddy.The way he called some chicks kid a retard and tried to smooth that over via adulterous bread sticks was classic.If G$ is back why not Paddy?Or let me rephrase that..Can we get Paddy back in exchange for G$?

back on topic.The jimmy\banana\leu love trifecta was THE most under reported story in this places history.Would have been a 40 page thread 2 years ago.A lot has to do with the overall respect all three of them had here I guess which kept it kind of uncomfortable rather then hilarious.I will lay big dollars that during marriage counseling the name insanetrain.com came up.How fucking great is that?

[who]

she must give great head