10-19-2008, 12:38 AM
Amazingly simple household tips
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
Avoid arguments with your wife. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
Avoid arguments with your wife. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.
Thomas Merton
