[what?]

post yours here. mine will be the 2nd post to thwart your mouse over reading, so howsabout you open the fucking thread?

[what?]

when I was 12 I found out Santa Claus wasn't real. that was the year my Uncle Raymond died. turns out not only was Santa not real, but "sliding down the chimney" wasn't a euphamism for sodomy. I shoulda put it together that Uncle Raymond and Santa both smelled like whiskey, cigarettes, and fish sticks. let's just say that I had a pretty fucked up idea of what "being a good boy" was until after that

[what?]

this is what I call "moving the board"

[Flumper Barflusterbutt]

When I was about 4, my parents took me to my grandmother's several days before Christmas so I could spend some time with her. My grandfather had passed away several years before that. It was the first time that I had stayed with her by myself and I thought it was so cool.

She spent those days making candy, decorating her house for the rest of the family that would be coming on Christmas Eve, shopping, and taking me around to meet her neighbors and friends. One elderly lady across the street had an old pump organ and she played and sang Christmas songs while some of the other neighbors either sang along or visited.

My grandmother's house always smelled like whatever she was cooking. She made me fried chicken and biskets, and I can still think back to that time when I smell chicken frying. We walked everywhere we went, because my grandmother didn't drive. She had a small grocery store that was only a few blocks away. That was the longest walk we took and it wasn't too bad. I remember a man stopping and carrying her bag home for her one day when we had gone after some things at the store. I thought that was nice of him.

One night we had some carolers come to her house and she was so happy to hear them sing. She invited them in for cookies and introduced me to all of them.

I helped her decorate her tree. It was a real tree, I think it was cedar. I still think about that week when I smell fresh cedar. Her lights were large red painted bulbs, about the size that people put outside their house now days. Her ornaments were fragile glass ornaments. Some had chips in the paint and broken parts. I broke one while we were decorating the tree and I thought I would get in trouble. She acted like she didn't care and I helped her clean it up off of the wooden floor.

I remember her wooden floors. They were cold in the mornings. She had floor furnaces, and I remember being told not to step on them.

About two days before Christmas, she didn't wake me up like she normally did. I got out of bed and stepped onto the cold wooden floor. I didn't smell bacon or anything like I did every other morning. I went to her room and she was still asleep. Or that's what I thought.

[what?]

About two days before Christmas, she didn't wake me up like she normally did. I got out of bed and stepped onto the cold wooden floor. I didn't smell bacon or anything like I did every other morning. I went to her room and she was still asleep. Or that's what I thought.

did you hit the character limit for one post or are you wallowing in tears you fucking pansey?

[Blueeyedwoman]

Even that made up story depressed me.

[Sassy]

Even that made up story depressed me.

Yes, even that.

[Bill]

I remember one, I was 11 and christmas had come and gone like every other year. we were busy driving our parents nuts with the gifts my grandparents had mailed to us from out of state. I remember this cause I got a keyboard that tought you to play along and remember the keys and I played that thing for two days strait. I played "green sleaves" so much my dad commented on if that was the only song it taught me to play. he was being sarcastic. On the 27th we had to make the drive to texarkana to return some gifts and dad needed some more boose. we even ate out at a steak house. it was a good family day. nobody fought, nobody yelled. I remember falling asleep in the car on the ride home and dad walking me into the house. that night about 11 I was woke up by a crash in the hall bathroom right outside my bedroom door...when I opened my bedroom door dad was on the floor in the hallway and mom was running for the phone. dad was having chest pain and trouble breathing...mom called the ambulance and we helped him get to the recliner in the living room...once he got there he closed his eyes and was gone...the ambulance finally showed up 45 minutes later.

[Flumper Barflusterbutt]

I remember one, I was 11 and christmas had come and gone like every other year. we were busy driving our parents nuts with the gifts my grandparents had mailed to us from out of state. I remember this cause I got a keyboard that tought you to play along and remember the keys and I played that thing for two days strait. I played "green sleaves" so much my dad commented on if that was the only song it taught me to play. he was being sarcastic. On the 27th we had to make the drive to texarkana to return some gifts and dad needed some more boose. we even ate out at a steak house. it was a good family day. nobody fought, nobody yelled. I remember falling asleep in the car on the ride home and dad walking me into the house. that night about 11 I was woke up by a crash in the hall bathroom right outside my bedroom door...when I opened my bedroom door dad was on the floor in the hallway and mom was running for the phone. dad was having chest pain and trouble breathing...mom called the ambulance and we helped him get to the recliner in the living room...once he got there he closed his eyes and was gone...the ambulance finally showed up 45 minutes later.

Did you watch him die?

[Sassy]

Did you watch him die?

No I missed it. How was
him die
?

[Flumper Barflusterbutt]

No I missed it. How was
him die
?

Sounds like he either drank himself to death, was so drunk he fell and hit himself and died from the injuries, or had a heart attack unrelated to the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

[ntype]

it was that time when we put a hobo on fire then peed on him

[Sassy]

it was that time when we put a hobo on fire then peed on him

As Einstein said, "Time is Money."

[ntype]

As Einstein said, "Time is Money."

you got it biatch now go put something into your mouth I've heard you too much this week.

[Anhil8tor]

could we get the trucker story again?

[Sassy]

could we get the trucker story again?

Once more? Do you mean you and me? I'll come back to that later.

[Bill]

Sounds like he either drank himself to death, was so drunk he fell and hit himself and died from the injuries, or had a heart attack unrelated to the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

....