11-22-2006, 06:37 PM
what is shakin today?
Hey Leu...
11-22-2006, 07:37 PM
Fuck Leu.
My friend in Utah got engaged and asked me to be the best man.Anyone know any Mormon friendly jokes?I have a feeling my humor and the church of latter day saints humor doesnt jive.
My friend in Utah got engaged and asked me to be the best man.Anyone know any Mormon friendly jokes?I have a feeling my humor and the church of latter day saints humor doesnt jive.
See You In Toledo
11-22-2006, 07:50 PM
That's going to be a clusterfuck of epic proportions. If ever you've been tempted to share pics, please take some at that wedding.
11-22-2006, 07:51 PM
A Mormon guy in line to get lunch leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Mormon joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an anti-Mormon. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2 tall, weighs 225, and he's an anti-Mormon. The fella next to him is 6'5 tall, weighs 250, and he's an anti-Mormon. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it 3 times."
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an anti-Mormon. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2 tall, weighs 225, and he's an anti-Mormon. The fella next to him is 6'5 tall, weighs 250, and he's an anti-Mormon. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it 3 times."
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
11-22-2006, 07:51 PM
Two Mormon missionaries are walking down the street one sunny morning. Coming from the opposite direction is a Priest. As they meet the Priest says, "Good morning, Sons of the Devil." The Mormon missionaries reply, "Good morning Father."
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
11-22-2006, 07:52 PM
It's Show and Tell day in school, and each kid has to bring something that represents their faith.
Little Mary walks to the front and says in a very soft voice, "My name is Mary. I'm Catholic, and this is a rosary."
Little Isaac walks to the front and says, "My name is Isaac. I'm Jewish and this is a dreidel."
Little Nephi walks up and says, "My name is Nephi. I'm LDS and this is a casserole."
Little Mary walks to the front and says in a very soft voice, "My name is Mary. I'm Catholic, and this is a rosary."
Little Isaac walks to the front and says, "My name is Isaac. I'm Jewish and this is a dreidel."
Little Nephi walks up and says, "My name is Nephi. I'm LDS and this is a casserole."
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
11-22-2006, 07:54 PM
Q: Why do Mormon women stop having babies at thirty-five?
A: Because thirty-six is just too many.
A: Because thirty-six is just too many.
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
11-22-2006, 07:54 PM
A Mormon Bishop got on an elevator on the 10th floor. As the elevator stopped on the 8th floor, a beautiful woman walked in. On the way to the lobby the gorgeous woman hit the stop button. She turned to the Bishop and said: "Can you make me feel like a true woman?" The Bishop said: "I sure can" and excitedly took off all his clothes, he then threw them in the corner of the elevator. He turned to the woman pointed to the clothes and said: "Now fold them".
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
11-22-2006, 07:55 PM
Q: Why was the Mormon man upset about his marriage counseling bill?
A: Because he didn't get a group rate.
A: Because he didn't get a group rate.
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?
11-22-2006, 07:58 PM
Bird must be bubbling with excitement.
11-22-2006, 08:02 PM
Wow. He completely ignored this whole thread. He must be impotent.
11-22-2006, 08:09 PM
i didn't think they let black people in utah
11-22-2006, 08:11 PM
Anhil8tor Wrote:i didn't think they let black people in utah
Oh, is that where Michael Richards lives?
:roll:
11-22-2006, 08:11 PM
Banana Wrote:Oh, is that where Michael Richards lives?
:roll:
nope..
i thought there was always a joke about karl malone being the only black guy in utah for a while...
:unsure:
11-22-2006, 08:12 PM
SanDog Wrote:Q: Why was the Mormon man upset about his marriage counseling bill?
A: Because he didn't get a group rate.
I will be commiting this one to memory.
I'm thinking about mentioning how much coke my friend used to do during the speech.
See You In Toledo
11-22-2006, 08:13 PM
Anhil8tor Wrote:nope..
i thought there was always a joke about karl malone being the only black guy in utah for a while...
:unsure:
I never saw one black person in Utah. Or attractive person
11-22-2006, 08:13 PM
Anhil8tor Wrote:i didn't think they let black people in utah
He's a white.
See You In Toledo
11-22-2006, 08:14 PM
Banana Wrote:I never saw one black person in Utah. Or attractive person
why would anyone want more than one wife?
11-22-2006, 08:14 PM
BIRD33 Wrote:I will be commiting this one to memory.
I'm thinking about mentioning how much coke my friend used to do during the speech.
Your speech will likely be like our best man's. He called one bridesmaid old, one a bitch, and he snarked at me for taking away his best friend.
11-22-2006, 08:14 PM
Anhil8tor Wrote:why would anyone want more than one wife?
Cause child brides are more fun....
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