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Virus alert
#1

Virus Alert BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES:

CLINTON VIRUS Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

VIAGRA VIRUS Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

LEWINSKY VIRUS Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS Disks can no longer be inserted. TITANIC VIRUS (A strain of the Lewinsky Virus) Your whole computer goes down (but I think "we go on").

DISNEY VIRUS Everything in your computer goes Goofy Smile.

PROZAC VIRUS Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAACK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS Re-formats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
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#2

How about the JOHN KERRY VIRUS? It only deletes your temporary files, but claims to have wiped your disk clean!!


How about the 9-11 COMMISSION VIRUS?.... it claims the CLINTON VIRUS (mentioned above) was responsible for deleting your files.


How about the OPEC VIRUS?... it eliminates sectors on your disk so the value of harddrive space goes up!!!


How about the GEORGE LUCAS VIRUS? It takes your space, reformats it so looks impressive, but somehow isn't as good!


How about the STAR TREK VIRUS? It keeps writing the same files over and over and over and over and over again....


The KAAZAR VIRUS isn't too bad? Even though it wipes out your disk, copies of it are available for downloading everywhere!!!!

MacAfee doesn't stand a chance! :|
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#3

The MPAA Virus makes you pay everytime you backup your disk!!!


The NEW YORK CITY Virus is always working on your disk. It never sleeps!


The REDNECK VIRUS will eventually get'round to wiping your disk out, but it's in no hurry.


..and no disk can hold the TEXAS VIRUS! It's just plain too big!!!! :|
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