01-19-2005, 06:16 PM
Traditional Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
Enron Venture Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get
all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five
cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
company. The annual report says the company owns eight
cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy
a new president of the United States, leaving you with
nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
A SILICON VALLEY CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops
dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called
Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,
and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
Enron Venture Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get
all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five
cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
company. The annual report says the company owns eight
cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy
a new president of the United States, leaving you with
nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
A SILICON VALLEY CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops
dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called
Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,
and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
![[Image: boston.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v314/FattyJ16/boston.jpg)
