Letters to people

[ClayRock]

Originally posted by Banana@Nov 4 2004, 03:56 PM
Hi, Pepsi

How are you? How is that flesh-eating parasite that infected your brain? Has it starved to death yet? Anyway, let's dispense with social pleasantries: Take a chair; face the blackboard, and pay attention while I explain the 'Theory Of Why You Are A Pitiful Fuckweasel' to you. After reading your inept missive, I can't decide if syntax, logic, or control of your bowels is your weakest skill. You seem to excel in areas requiring dazzling ineptitude. Perhaps you should run for US President? (Although I doubt many would take a passive-aggressive dwarf hunchback in a wheelchair handing out 'Fuckweasel For President' pamphlets seriously. Insanity doesn't just run in your family, it does the decathlon and heptathlon at Olympic level. Contrary to your impudent assertion, you slanderous blackguard, I have painstakingly analysed all of the problems submitted to me by hordes of hapless and woebegone plebeians and answered each one with a magnitude of profound empathy, wisdom and human compassion worthy of recognition by a Nobel Peace Prize. While it is appropriate that you should be envious of my superlative self, I suggest that you moderate the severity of the querulous and begrudging nature of your crux idée fixe, lest it lax your fingertip grip on reality and send you plunging into an abyss of irreversible lunacy. Lord knows, you're already halfway there.

I hope this helps,
God

[snapback]95739[/snapback]

i understood 4 words in that paragraph all to come to this conclusion...

I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!! :wub:

[7]

Originally posted by Banana@Nov 4 2004, 02:58 PM
Dear It Members,

My advice is to think about what you want to type before you type; and then, don't bother typing it.

I hope this helps,

Sin,
7

[snapback]95747[/snapback]

Banana,


RACKITY RACK FUCKING RACK!


Sin,

7

[Banana]

7 and pepsi are really the easiest.......


Dear IT members,

Recently, it has come to my attention that many of you think I am not "nice." You mean: be as nice as you? As you all lack all higher intellectual faculties, it follows that you also lack all sense of irony (No, 'irony' isn't about removing creases from sheets and shirts). You all are like psychopaths running around a psychiatric ward, screaming: "You're all crazy!" Next time you throw a punch, try not to have it land on your own ear, you clueless, gyrating spastic retards.

Sin,
7

[7]

Originally posted by Banana@Nov 4 2004, 03:12 PM
7 and pepsi are really the easiest.......
Dear IT members,

Recently, it has come to my attention that many of you think I am not "nice." You mean: be as nice as you? As you all lack all higher intellectual faculties, it follows that you also lack all sense of irony (No, 'irony' isn't about removing creases from sheets and shirts). You all are like psychopaths running around a psychiatric ward, screaming: "You're all crazy!" Next time you throw a punch, try not to have it land on your own ear, you clueless, gyrating spastic retards.

Sin,
7

[snapback]95763[/snapback]

WINNER! :llma:

[leeman]

Dear Major Private

Please stop embarasing us all.

KTHNXBYE
Members of ownster.

[leeman]

Dear Bird.

Please last longer then 6 seconds tonight.

Sin
Your Girlfriend

[BIRD33]

Dear Bird.

Please last longer then 6 seconds tonight.

Sin
Your Girlfriend

Dear Leeman,

I appreciate you taking time away from being pale to write a humorous little send up of a letter to me from the girl I'm corn holing.I will take your advice into consideration and try a new tact which entails thinking of your face when I'm close to climaxing.Hopefully this will extend my lovemaking to a acceptable amount of time where we both will find it enjoyable.At worst thinking of you while spewing semen will be a nice little change of pace for me.

Thanks again,

BIRD33

[Banana]

Dear Pepsi


BOOOOOOOO. You suck! Eat shit. Die. Oh you already got the memo? Our bad.

Warmest Regards,
The Great People of Insane Train

I didn't think she'd take me seriously.


Is that in poor taste?

[leeman]

I didn't think she'd take me seriously.


Is that in poor taste?

If we listen to all whiners everything is bad taste here ..

Or is it giving bad taste ... I never get that right.... cratch:

[Jimmy]

Dear Leu,

You're not the only one

Sincerely,
Banana, APB, MadHatter, Charon, UDC

Dear Banana,

Wanna Fuck?






Sin,

All male members of IT

Dear Male Members of IT,

Only with Leu.

Sorry,
Banana

Hindsight is 20/20.

[BIRD33]

Wow.This is all clear now.You fucking people are nuts.

[Flumper Barflusterbutt]

Dear Banana,

Please stop sending me pm's about how much you love Leu and how much you are falling apart because his girlfriend is moving in with him. Its not the end of the world like you describe and if he wanted to choose you over her then he would have. And I seriously don't think that you leaving your family to try to be with him forever is the right thing to do at this point. I think you need to just chill out and see what happens.

And stop sending me all of these pictures of your kids. Its kind of weird.

Thanks,

Christy

:o

[phantom]

:haa