12-10-2004, 11:56 PM
For reasons we won't talk about right now, I go beat off in a cup every so often for a semen analysis. The last time was kinda fun, the people are so nice.
Me: Hi, I'm here for a semen analysis.
Receptionist: Good morning, fill this out please sir. Have you done this before?
Me: (Quizzical look)
Her: Have you been here before?
Me: A few times.
Her: So, I guess that makes you an expert, huh?
Me: No, junior high made me an expert.
After a little time in the waiting area, Barry White comes out to take me back to the room. The dude is about 6'3", black, beard, and sounds just like the man. In a deep sexy voice he says:
BW: Come wid me suh.
Me: (follows)
BW: Now this here is yo' room suh, when I leave you lock the doe' behind me so do'n nobody come in while yah doin' yo' bidness. We have a selection of erotic materials for you if you need dem, we have these here girly magazines or we have an exotic video if you prefer.
Me: How 'bout you just stand on the other side of the door and talk dirty to me big fella?
BW: (looks quizzical)
Me: Got anything with midgets?
BW: (leaves) Make sho you lock the doe' behind me.
Had I known it was possible to get off rubbing my crank on a paper covered table with a thermometer up my ass, I'd have asked for that. As it was, I tried to knock on the pass through door (where you set the sample when you're done) to get the nurse to open it at the critical moment, and yell at her "catch" and seeing if I could blow it through. Turns out that didn't work either, so I just dropped my goo in the cup and left.
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My first story, I've got a few more to share later if we decide this one was any good. Are you supposed to end these with a question? Or just "discuss"? I get the results back next week, anybody wanna go over/under on my sperm count?
Me: Hi, I'm here for a semen analysis.
Receptionist: Good morning, fill this out please sir. Have you done this before?
Me: (Quizzical look)
Her: Have you been here before?
Me: A few times.
Her: So, I guess that makes you an expert, huh?
Me: No, junior high made me an expert.
After a little time in the waiting area, Barry White comes out to take me back to the room. The dude is about 6'3", black, beard, and sounds just like the man. In a deep sexy voice he says:
BW: Come wid me suh.
Me: (follows)
BW: Now this here is yo' room suh, when I leave you lock the doe' behind me so do'n nobody come in while yah doin' yo' bidness. We have a selection of erotic materials for you if you need dem, we have these here girly magazines or we have an exotic video if you prefer.
Me: How 'bout you just stand on the other side of the door and talk dirty to me big fella?
BW: (looks quizzical)
Me: Got anything with midgets?
BW: (leaves) Make sho you lock the doe' behind me.
Had I known it was possible to get off rubbing my crank on a paper covered table with a thermometer up my ass, I'd have asked for that. As it was, I tried to knock on the pass through door (where you set the sample when you're done) to get the nurse to open it at the critical moment, and yell at her "catch" and seeing if I could blow it through. Turns out that didn't work either, so I just dropped my goo in the cup and left.
--------------------
My first story, I've got a few more to share later if we decide this one was any good. Are you supposed to end these with a question? Or just "discuss"? I get the results back next week, anybody wanna go over/under on my sperm count?
