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did you have a crazy family??
#1
ok, here's the deal:

many of us think we grew up in dysfunctional families

in this theard i want everyone to describe just one event (in deference to the general attention span deficiency shown here) to illustrate why some member of his family qualifies as the weirdest

i will start:

when the first surgeon general's report on the dangers of smoking were released my father quit smoking that day and never smoked another cigarette; my mother, bless her heart, began smoking for the first time in her life a couple weeks later

yes she was a psycho


if we get enuf entrants i will post a poll for the insaner with the best entry, please, people, true stories only, if ya wanna start a fantasy theard, go for it

TIA

Confusednarg:
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
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#2
Well my brother and his mates went camping and smoking weed and turned up home 3 hours later saying a ufo chased them does that count :lool:
[Image: vel.png]
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#3
Velvet Wrote:Well my brother and his mates went camping and smoking weed and turned up home 3 hours later saying a ufo chased them does that count :lool:


no, that is not even close, sorry

Confusednarg:
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply
#4
My father wears sneakers in the swimming pool
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#5
well it did follow them home .... damn .. *sighs* ok ... Will try again
[Image: vel.png]
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#6
My mum used to come and pick me up from school, but then take other kids home as a result of looking at me
Blondie Wrote:Lad is all I can think about.
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#7
My mom once tried to walk OUT the IN door at a grocery store. It was the automatic kind. So, as she stepped forward towards it, someone came in, and the door hit her in the face. She had the nerve to act indignant.

When my sister was younger, she was at a friends house. Her friend made a lippy somment to her mother, and my sister cringed - scared she was going to get smacked. Another time, at the mall (I think), my sister was misbehaving and we were trying to verbally reprimand her. She yelled, at the top of her lungs, "PLEASE DON'T HIT ME!!"
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#8
Gold!
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#9
My uncle (not blood) is 25% Native American, but this fucker thinks he's 150%. He's crazy. His whole purpose in life is to paint pictures of Indians and sell them at pow-wows. I'm not making this shit up.

The day of my sister's wedding he had to take a dump on the way to the church, and he knew he wasn't going to make it all the way there before having to pinch a loaf. He had my dad pull over at McDonalds so he could shit, but the men's room was locked. At this point, apparantly the poo was taking control over his sphincter muscles, so he waddled to the women's bathroom and before he could even make it to the toilet he had to pull down his pants and shit on the floor. He left it there. When he was at my sister's wedding I could see what looked to be mud on his pants legs, it turns out it was shit.

Does that qualify?
BIRD33 Wrote:Im guessing BEW's vag loks like a hotdog that exploded in the microwave.
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#10
Tom_ Faggotry Wrote:My uncle (not blood) is 25% Native American, but this fucker thinks he's 150%. He's crazy. His whole purpose in life is to paint pictures of Indians and sell them at pow-wows. I'm not making this shit up.

The day of my sister's wedding he had to take a dump on the way to the church, and he knew he wasn't going to make it all the way there before having to pinch a loaf. He had my dad pull over at McDonalds so he could shit, but the men's room was locked. At this point, apparantly the poo was taking control over his sphincter muscles, so he waddled to the women's bathroom and before he could even make it to the toilet he had to pull down his pants and shit on the floor. He left it there. When he was at my sister's wedding I could see what looked to be mud on his pants legs, it turns out it was shit.

Does that qualify?

Umm. Hell yes.

My great grandparents were first cousins. For real.
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#11
Tom_ Faggotry Wrote:My uncle (not blood) is 25% Native American, but this fucker thinks he's 150%. He's crazy. His whole purpose in life is to paint pictures of Indians and sell them at pow-wows. I'm not making this shit up.

The day of my sister's wedding he had to take a dump on the way to the church, and he knew he wasn't going to make it all the way there before having to pinch a loaf. He had my dad pull over at McDonalds so he could shit, but the men's room was locked. At this point, apparantly the poo was taking control over his sphincter muscles, so he waddled to the women's bathroom and before he could even make it to the toilet he had to pull down his pants and shit on the floor. He left it there. When he was at my sister's wedding I could see what looked to be mud on his pants legs, it turns out it was shit.

Does that qualify?
Are you for real?! He told you guys this?
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#12
i have an uncle who married a cheating heroin addict. she packed her shit up one day and moved in with her heroin dealing boyfriend. one night they decided to rob my uncle's house, which was a success. the next week my uncle filed for divorce. the bitch decided to try and get everything he owned, which she also succeeded in doing. a month later my uncle was diagnosed with testicular cancer, he ended up having a nut removed. a week after the divorce went the sluts way my uncle attempted to commit suicide by running a garden house from his exhaust into his car in an enclosed garage. i found him puke covered and convulsing.

does this qualify?
I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours
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#13
Tom_ Faggotry Wrote:My uncle (not blood) is 25% Native American, but this fucker thinks he's 150%. He's crazy. His whole purpose in life is to paint pictures of Indians and sell them at pow-wows. I'm not making this shit up.

The day of my sister's wedding he had to take a dump on the way to the church, and he knew he wasn't going to make it all the way there before having to pinch a loaf. He had my dad pull over at McDonalds so he could shit, but the men's room was locked. At this point, apparantly the poo was taking control over his sphincter muscles, so he waddled to the women's bathroom and before he could even make it to the toilet he had to pull down his pants and shit on the floor. He left it there. When he was at my sister's wedding I could see what looked to be mud on his pants legs, it turns out it was shit.

Does that qualify?


tom has the right idea, (if this is true that is), the rest of youse guys have missed out on the joys of dysfunctional family life

my cousin was told by a rather famous artist, when she asked what the most important thing a writer could possess, "a highly disfunctional family"

it is working for the two of us, she has written a novel, and i have published as well

step up and live up to your name, insaners

Confusednarg:
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply
#14
My brother has been to jail 4 times...

is this close?
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#15
I'm pretty sure having grandparents who are first cousins counts. But, if you need something more......

my 2nd cousin left her husband after he sustained a significant brain injury. He was hit by a semi, and managed to live, but it really messed up his judgement. The final straw? She caught him fucking the family German Shepard in the garage.
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#16
cLaY Wrote:i have an uncle who married a cheating heroin addict. she packed her shit up one day and moved in with her heroin dealing boyfriend. one night they decided to rob my uncle's house, which was a success. the next week my uncle filed for divorce. the bitch decided to try and get everything he owned, which she also succeeded in doing. a month later my uncle was diagnosed with testicular cancer, he ended up having a nut removed. a week after the divorce went the sluts way my uncle attempted to commit suicide by running a garden house from his exhaust into his car in an enclosed garage. i found him puke covered and convulsing.

does this qualify?


that is a very sad story, i send out my sympathies
however, it is not conclusive evidence of disfunctionality

did your mom teach you to french kiss??
that would do it

Confusednarg:
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply
#17
anhil8tor Wrote:My brother has been to jail 4 times...

is this close?

does he get along with the other inmates??


Confusednarg:
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply
#18
Banana Wrote:I'm pretty sure having grandparents who are first cousins counts. But, if you need something more......

my 2nd cousin left her husband after he sustained a significant brain injury. He was hit by a semi, and managed to live, but it really messed up his judgement. The final straw? She caught him fucking the family German Shepard in the garage.


that is certainly disfunctional behavior, but prolly induced by the brain damage

what we are looking for is ssociopathic or psychotic behavior in the immediate family that has a profound effect on the other sibs

Confusednarg:
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply
#19
snarg Wrote:that is certainly disfunctional behavior, but prolly induced by the brain damage

what we are looking for is ssociopathic or psychotic behavior in the immediate family that has a profound effect on the other sibs

Confusednarg:
Ya. Tonnes of that. How about my mom and I once semi-dated the same guy at different times?
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#20
i'm gonna give another example, true story:

we have all heard of the super-human feats of mothers in order to save their babies, such as lifting a car off a pinned child

well, my mom once lifted my dad's salt water aquarium, which weighed prolly twice as much as she did, and dumped it down the kitchen sink, cause she was "annoyed" with him

i have many more

let's dig deep into those psyches and help a brotha out


Confusednarg:
I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk.  A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind.  A need to return to genuine practice, right effort.  Need to push on the great doubt.  Need for the spirit.  Hang on to the clear light.
           
Thomas Merton


       
Reply


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