[snarg]

>
> A Dead BMW
>A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
>died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She
>says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She
>asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>
>
>
> SPEEDING TICKET
>
>A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if
>he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would
>get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then
>today you expect me to show it to you!"
>
>
>
>
> EXPOSURE
>
>A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right
>breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you
>aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why
>officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out," he says. She looks down
>and says, "OH MY ," I left the baby on the bus again!"
>
>
>
>
> RIVER WALK
>
>There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
>blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the
>other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
>shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
>
>
>
> KNITTING
>
>A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
>Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
>wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
>lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
>bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A
>SCARF!"
>
>
>
> BLONDE ON THE SUN
>
>A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
>said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first
>on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on
>the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
>their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said
>the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
>We're going at night!"
>
> IN A VACUUM
>
> A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
>rolled
>the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are
> in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought
>for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>
> FINAL EXAM
>
> The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of
>yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares
>at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration,
>takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking
>the answers after each toss.
>
> Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is
>still
>sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperately
>throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed,
>approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an
>hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."
>
>
>
> FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>
> A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
>asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
>was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard
>of someone naming dogs like that?" "HelOOOooo," answered the blond.
>"They're watch dogs
>
>