09-07-2004, 09:10 PM
Dam long ass time since Ive posted something on here. So I guess its my time to vent out a little bit. It seems like 2004 is really taking a shit on me as well. Thought after my mom passing in 03 that just maybe things would get better for 04. I guess not, which really sucks. So lets see what has been going on in my lame ass life. That has made this year most pleasant (enter sarcasm here). Well first since this year started off my grandmother hasnt really been in the best of health, and it really makes me sad seeing her struggle. Second problem is a big fall out with my best friends, I feel like im the black sheep whenever Im around them. Third is relationship problems "sigh" wish i didnt do some things i did. Maybe we couldve still been together. Like always though i seem to fuck shit up. Lastly The most recent shit i had to go through was being in the hospital. This was a really scary experience because i was diagnosed with diabetes. Now i have to watch everything i eat making sure that things dont consist to much sugar and have to be more carb causious. I also have to prick myself every dam day to check my sugar level which is a real pain in the ass. I just wish I can crawl into the darkest place to be isolated from the world and just be alone. I really havent been myself I feel really depressed these days. Im starting to get thoughts in my head from when i was in highschool and wanting to end everything. This way at least Ill be with my mother. I believe my father would follow soon after because he would have nothing left in this world. I know its selfish thinking but the 3 of us would be reunited once again and be happy. *sigh* I think im gonna go climb under a rock now.... laters....