07-29-2004, 01:34 PM
Dear ________________,
_____ 1) It's been fun, but I want to see other people
______ 2) You suck in bed.
____ 3) I want to explore new things and meet new people
____ 4) I've seen Professional Wrestlers more sensitive than you
____ 5) You're a loser
____ 7) You're too sensitive, stop whining already
_____8) I have to break up with you because I slept with your best friend/ dog/ sister/ neighbor
_____ 9) It's not you, it's me. I'm a double agent and have to rescue the President
____ 10) I'm actually not straight / gay, fooled you!
___ 11) We can't have sex because I keep thinking about your mother/father/best friend/ cow/ next door neighbor
___ 12) Your stubborn refusal to flush the toilet / shave / masturbate / kick helpless animals is just too much
___13) I'm prejudiced against _________, so this isn't going to work.
___ 14) You were so awful I'm joining a seminary / practicing celibacy forever
____ 15) I now hate men / women because of you
___ 16) You told my parents we do it like monkeys and they won't let me see you now
___ 17) You're fucking cheap, I don't want much, but c'mon!
___ 18) I have to leave, I pissed off the mob / government / terrorists / rap musicians
___19) You're leaving to college / the military / prison, I don't feel like waiting
____ 20) I've been indicted for War Crimes
____21) He / She is much better looking than you
___ 22) This sleazy guy /girl convinced me you're a waist of my time and I'm going to hook up with them
_____23) I've seen fourth graders smarter than you're friends, at least the fourth graders can color in the lines
___ 24) You are from New Jersey, nuff said
___ 25) I love my cat / dog / sex slave more and you're allergic to them
____26) I was blind when we started dating but now that my sight is back, eeeeewwww
____27) I'm shallow and want a guy / girl with lots of money
_____28) You're Brandon, and that's not good
Sincerely,
______________________
_____ 1) It's been fun, but I want to see other people
______ 2) You suck in bed.
____ 3) I want to explore new things and meet new people
____ 4) I've seen Professional Wrestlers more sensitive than you
____ 5) You're a loser
____ 7) You're too sensitive, stop whining already
_____8) I have to break up with you because I slept with your best friend/ dog/ sister/ neighbor
_____ 9) It's not you, it's me. I'm a double agent and have to rescue the President
____ 10) I'm actually not straight / gay, fooled you!
___ 11) We can't have sex because I keep thinking about your mother/father/best friend/ cow/ next door neighbor
___ 12) Your stubborn refusal to flush the toilet / shave / masturbate / kick helpless animals is just too much
___13) I'm prejudiced against _________, so this isn't going to work.
___ 14) You were so awful I'm joining a seminary / practicing celibacy forever
____ 15) I now hate men / women because of you
___ 16) You told my parents we do it like monkeys and they won't let me see you now
___ 17) You're fucking cheap, I don't want much, but c'mon!
___ 18) I have to leave, I pissed off the mob / government / terrorists / rap musicians
___19) You're leaving to college / the military / prison, I don't feel like waiting
____ 20) I've been indicted for War Crimes
____21) He / She is much better looking than you
___ 22) This sleazy guy /girl convinced me you're a waist of my time and I'm going to hook up with them
_____23) I've seen fourth graders smarter than you're friends, at least the fourth graders can color in the lines
___ 24) You are from New Jersey, nuff said
___ 25) I love my cat / dog / sex slave more and you're allergic to them
____26) I was blind when we started dating but now that my sight is back, eeeeewwww
____27) I'm shallow and want a guy / girl with lots of money
_____28) You're Brandon, and that's not good
Sincerely,
______________________
I am trying to see things from your perspective....But I can't get my head that far up my ass!
Remember - The TOES you step on today maybe attached to the ASS you have to kiss tomorrow.
![[Image: ac5586cf78c9d9fecf8819bdd377a0a4.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v94/hambonebtc/ac5586cf78c9d9fecf8819bdd377a0a4.jpg)