[Velvet]

...

[Velvet]

...

[Velvet]

...

[Velvet]

...

[Velvet]

...

[Velvet]

...

[leeman]

I received a letter from my bank the other day, telling me,
"This is the last time we're going to spend a quarter to
tell you that you have fifteen cents!"

[APB]

[APB]

The horrible truth about whipped cream
:o

[APB]

women versus men

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on
the ground?
A: Shoot him again.

Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the
noose.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they're practicing to be men.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve
around him. OR Three -- one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him
brag about the screwing part.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women.
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every
woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "Instruction Manuals"