[Banana]

that almost got you killed?

Mine was this: three girls, five guys, drinking at a cabin on a lake. It was winter, but barely winter, so the lake was frozen, but frozen as in "that lake is probably OK to walk on."

We got wasted and decided to steal a canoe, jump in and ride it down the bank of the lake onto the lake. We were all very excited, but once we all jumped in and the thing started to careen down the embankment, there was this ominous silence. I realized that we were heading for a huge bump of snow on the ice, and that a guy who is 6 foot 7 was crouched behind me. Hitting that bump meant people were going to get ejected from the canoe or we were all going to slide forward and crush each other

Sure enough, we hit the show and bodies go flying. The big guy landed on my short friend and I ended up with my face firmly impacted into the snow bank. As soon as the canoe came to rest, we heard the ice cracking. We left the canoe and bolted. What a bunch of morons.

[cLaY]

driving 80 while its raining, coming off a highway exit. hydro planed and landed on the opposite side of the turnpike. my truck jumped and rail slided over a 4 foot high wall.

[cLaY]

and got married...thats a close 2nd

[Shadrach]

There's too many to chose from for me. But be assured almost all of them involve alcohol. At least half of them involve alcohol and automobiles

[BIRD33]

My friend who is also my dealer was having trouble coming up with some weed for weeks which was rare so when he said he was going down to the city after work I said I'd go with him. We meet up with these two black guys on Broad St. right by Temple Univ. and they seem cool but they say we have to wait for their guy to meet up with them so we head over to his place and wait outside.So im kinda pissed we have to wait in the car with these two dudes I dont know but the one guy breaks out 3 fat blunts and smokes them in a row.I hadnt smoked in a while so I was phyched and it was still light out so everything seemed cool.45 minutes later paranoia sets in like a mother but the dudes are in the car so I cant really say anything so I tell the dudes Im thirsty and asked my friend to go get a drink with me.Now I'm in my work clothes Kacki's(sp),nice shoes, golf shirt and we start walking up to the corner store.I should have known it when the guy pointed me to the "Bodega" on the corner but as Im walking to the store it hits me that A.Im dressed like a sunday school faggot and B.I remember seeing these street corners on the news regarding a drive by shooting last week. Im getting looks like fuck you white boy every two feet so we head back to the car and the black guys say their guy will be there in a minute.Half hour later its pitch dark and this lexus pulls up and this jamican guy rolls down the window and starts screaming about money to the guys in our car, pulls out a gun and points it at the guy sitting in the passenger seat whom he's most pissed at.Im fucking having a heart attack in the back seat, thought about running but realize Im in shitsville and wouldnt make it two blocks so Im practically pretending like I dont see the gun and just trying to play it cool.The Jamican guy either robbed or got paid by the guy in the front seat, I didnt ask and then said "I'll be back in couple of minutes" and peels away.The two guys in our car act like its no big deal and want to wait for the guy to get back.I was like fuck no and made up some pussy excuse about having to get home or something.All in all 4 1\2 hours in a car,one armed robbery\business transaction and a near death experience.

[cLaY]

My friend who is also my dealer was having trouble coming up with some weed for weeks which was rare so when he said he was going down to the city after work I said I'd go with him. We meet up with these two black guys on Broad St. right by Temple Univ. and they seem cool but they say we have to wait for their guy to meet up with them so we head over to his place and wait outside.So im kinda pissed we have to wait in the car with these two dudes I dont know but the one guy breaks out 3 fat blunts and smokes them in a row.I hadnt smoked in a while so I was phyched and it was still light out so everything seemed cool.45 minutes later paranoia sets in like a mother but the dudes are in the car so I cant really say anything so I tell the dudes Im thirsty and asked my friend to go get a drink with me.Now I'm in my work clothes Kacki's(sp),nice shoes, golf shirt and we start walking up to the corner store.I should have known it when the guy pointed me to the "Bodega" on the corner but as Im walking to the store it hits me that A.Im dressed like a sunday school faggot and B.I remember seeing these street corners on the news regarding a drive by shooting last week. Im getting looks like fuck you white boy every two feet so we head back to the car and the black guys say their guy will be there in a minute.Half hour later its pitch dark and this lexus pulls up and this jamican guy rolls down the window and starts screaming about money to the guys in our car, pulls out a gun and points it at the guy sitting in the passenger seat whom he's most pissed at.Im fucking having a heart attack in the back seat, thought about running but realize Im in shitsville and wouldnt make it two blocks so Im practically pretending like I dont see the gun and just trying to play it cool.The Jamican guy either robbed or got paid by the guy in the front seat, I didnt ask and then said "I'll be back in couple of minutes" and peels away.The two guys in our car act like its no big deal and want to wait for the guy to get back.I was like fuck no and made up some pussy excuse about having to get home or something.All in all 4 1\2 hours in a car,one armed robbery\business transaction and a near death experience.

I'm not reading all this shit.

[BIRD33]

I'm not reading all this shit.

It involves bill self, check it out.

[Banana]

My friend who is also my dealer was having trouble coming up with some weed for weeks which was rare so when he said he was going down to the city after work I said I'd go with him. We meet up with these two black guys on Broad St. right by Temple Univ. and they seem cool but they say we have to wait for their guy to meet up with them so we head over to his place and wait outside.So im kinda pissed we have to wait in the car with these two dudes I dont know but the one guy breaks out 3 fat blunts and smokes them in a row.I hadnt smoked in a while so I was phyched and it was still light out so everything seemed cool.45 minutes later paranoia sets in like a mother but the dudes are in the car so I cant really say anything so I tell the dudes Im thirsty and asked my friend to go get a drink with me.Now I'm in my work clothes Kacki's(sp),nice shoes, golf shirt and we start walking up to the corner store.I should have known it when the guy pointed me to the "Bodega" on the corner but as Im walking to the store it hits me that A.Im dressed like a sunday school faggot and B.I remember seeing these street corners on the news regarding a drive by shooting last week. Im getting looks like fuck you white boy every two feet so we head back to the car and the black guys say their guy will be there in a minute.Half hour later its pitch dark and this lexus pulls up and this jamican guy rolls down the window and starts screaming about money to the guys in our car, pulls out a gun and points it at the guy sitting in the passenger seat whom he's most pissed at.Im fucking having a heart attack in the back seat, thought about running but realize Im in shitsville and wouldnt make it two blocks so Im practically pretending like I dont see the gun and just trying to play it cool.The Jamican guy either robbed or got paid by the guy in the front seat, I didnt ask and then said "I'll be back in couple of minutes" and peels away.The two guys in our car act like its no big deal and want to wait for the guy to get back.I was like fuck no and made up some pussy excuse about having to get home or something.All in all 4 1\2 hours in a car,one armed robbery\business transaction and a near death experience.

:| Fuck man. You win.

[BIRD33]

:| Fuck man. You win.

Everybody at IT is a winner in my book.

[Flumper Barflusterbutt]

My friend who is also my dealer was having trouble coming up with some weed for weeks which was rare so when he said he was going down to the city after work I said I'd go with him. We meet up with these two black guys on Broad St. right by Temple Univ. and they seem cool but they say we have to wait for their guy to meet up with them so we head over to his place and wait outside.So im kinda pissed we have to wait in the car with these two dudes I dont know but the one guy breaks out 3 fat blunts and smokes them in a row.I hadnt smoked in a while so I was phyched and it was still light out so everything seemed cool.45 minutes later paranoia sets in like a mother but the dudes are in the car so I cant really say anything so I tell the dudes Im thirsty and asked my friend to go get a drink with me.Now I'm in my work clothes Kacki's(sp),nice shoes, golf shirt and we start walking up to the corner store.I should have known it when the guy pointed me to the "Bodega" on the corner but as Im walking to the store it hits me that A.Im dressed like a sunday school faggot and B.I remember seeing these street corners on the news regarding a drive by shooting last week. Im getting looks like fuck you white boy every two feet so we head back to the car and the black guys say their guy will be there in a minute.Half hour later its pitch dark and this lexus pulls up and this jamican guy rolls down the window and starts screaming about money to the guys in our car, pulls out a gun and points it at the guy sitting in the passenger seat whom he's most pissed at.Im fucking having a heart attack in the back seat, thought about running but realize Im in shitsville and wouldnt make it two blocks so Im practically pretending like I dont see the gun and just trying to play it cool.The Jamican guy either robbed or got paid by the guy in the front seat, I didnt ask and then said "I'll be back in couple of minutes" and peels away.The two guys in our car act like its no big deal and want to wait for the guy to get back.I was like fuck no and made up some pussy excuse about having to get home or something.All in all 4 1\2 hours in a car,one armed robbery\business transaction and a near death experience.

Rack!

[Beaucephus]

I was a senior in high school. I had a cuople of buddies that were going to Texas A&M that had graduated the year before and we went up there for the annual bonfire (wayy before the bonfire disaster) to party one weekend. Anyway, we go up there and start partying at his place and he knows of a huge party happening a few miles from his house. I drive my '78 seville very similar to this one

with all of 6 of us loaded up inside. We get there and it's this huge three story house that apparently quite a few students were renting. It was not a frat house by any means. We got there early, introduced ourselves and made our way to the kegs. About 12-14 cups in I was feeling like fucking superman. I was mingling , making new friends left and right. This party was the shit. :d. God I loved that place. Then we started doing shots. It was well on into the evening before the first of three puke seesions off their back porch for me. After the third I decided I was going home. Yeah that's right home, all the way from College station to Conroe (about 100 miles) at 1 a.m. in the morning. This chick I was there with tried to stop me and convinced me to lay down in one of the back rooms. I laid there for all of 5 minutes and managed to sneak my way out of the house though. The party was still going pretty good at the time so it really wasn't that hard. I snuck down to the road and got in the vehicle and attempted to start it up. *crank* nothing. Tried again and this time stepped on the clutch and while cranking let off the clutch. The vehicle sprung forward as it was in gear and BOOM i nailed the car in front of me. Then I realized, "wait a damn minute I drive a Cadillac Seville NOT A FUCKING 4WD PICKUP WITH STANDARD TRANSMISSION!!!!!" :blink:. The crash must have been pretty loud because almost instantyl people came pouring out of the house to see what happened. Excuse me for a second....VERY BIG PEOPLE CAME OUT OF THE HOUSE to see what happened. The next thing I know there I am standing in the middle of the street being accused of stealing the truck by about 10 250 plus lb dudes. All I could think of to slur "FUCK YOU I GOT A CADILLAC" "I GOT A CADILLAC MUTHA FUCKAS"!!!!!!!!!. I don't remember much after that but my friends told me it was all they could do to keep me from getting my ass stomped to death by the drunken behemoths that I would later find out were members of the football team. My friends have never let me live that one down to this day. Soemtimes they come to me out of the blue "I GOT A CADILLAC" . I coulda died if it weren't for them. RACK FRIENDS.

[Duckbutter]

Scuba diving the Banco Chinchorro off the southern Yucatan with my buddy, an Israeli student I'd never seen before, a 5ft nothing 18yr old dive master of mayan decent, and an old mexican boat captain named Martine. B.C. is a 5hr boat ride out from a very uninhabited portion of Mexico. It is pristine diving and not easy to get to. The currents are ripping 15 knots and you need an experienced Captain to watch your bubbles in order to keep up with the diver's.

Well the kid from Israel panics on entering so my buddy and I end up on the bottom and the mayan, Jewboy, and the captain are on the surface dillyfucking around. After about 25 minutes, (almost the length of time alloted this dive) here comes the mayan. (I later found out JB pussed out) Well we drift with the current for another 20 minutes and surface with barely enough air to inflate our B.C.s. The wind has kicked up and now we got 4ft swells with whitecaps, no air, 3 divers fighting the current, and NO BOAT IN SITE! Fucking captain Martine is babysitting the jewkid and loses our bubbles. Were getting sucked out toward Cuba (300 miles away) and he can't see us in black wet suits. Finally, we take off 1 fin and start to wave them in the air. My lime green fin was the only thing that caught his eye as he had drifted 2 miles away from us.

[snarg]

i think i know martíne; no shit, you are lucky to be alive

as for me, i was being pretty thorougly beaten by the mex mafia on cozumel
i was over there getting a friend out of jail
they thought he was a dea agent and said he was going to df to rot in jail

i told them they were making a mistake and i would get him out of jail tomorrow
(it was sat nite and nothing happens on sunday in mex)
they continued kicking the shit out of me, laughing cause they knew it could not happen
they decided to let me go, simply telling me they just didn't want to kill me
i said thanks, you did the right thing

when my friend got out of jail on sunday i wish i could have been there
the guys came to my house in playa del carmen about two weeks later to apologize and invite me to a party

i liked it better when they wanted to kill me, but that is another story

[Jdub]

A buddy of mine and myself used to go shooting with all our guns. We would actually shoot at each other and see who could get closest!