[Hambone]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note they are
all numbered 1. This is ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching
about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if
we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Saturday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think
we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil & water, Please!

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse
to answer.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your
girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-
reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question to which you don't want an answer, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind? It's like
camping.

[Velvet]

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.


That should be.... after you shut your mouth :p :lol:

[Hambone]

Not seven days seven hours