05-10-2005, 03:31 PM
snarg Wrote:yeah, let's free UDC and ban e-idiotYou're old enough to remember, "Blow Me Clown!"
snarg Wrote:yeah, let's free UDC and ban e-idiotYou're old enough to remember, "Blow Me Clown!"
Undeadcannibal Wrote:Way to gay it up, Leu. We all know the rules here. I'm sure TF and I have proven that.
Wait...be over 18? Shit...I'm only 9...
ntype Wrote:rules rules rules rules
buy buy buy buy
sell sell sell sell
leeman Wrote:Obsess much...?
Major Private Wrote:just smoked one myself, ntype! Bong only for meHow old are you? Just wondering.
leucetios Wrote:If you know the rules so well, then you shouldn't have your ban lifted.
suzy Wrote:Seriously, I hope you like to be peed on.
Undeadcannibal Wrote:I should just leave. Nobody is going to even acknowledge anything I say, much less reply in a friendly manner. Especially since that stupid fucking flood. I have no clue what the fuck I was thinking. Retarded. I'm better off starting all over. New account, new personality, new everything. I've considered this heavily over the past few days, but I dunno. Being a board member and trying not to be myself is too hard. If things get hairy, this is one situation where I can just bail out.
I know some of the older members would like me to remain, but the majority of new blood would rather I don't. I preferred they didn't vote in this poll, because they haven't been around long enough to know what I'm actually like, or anything. From now on, their opinions of me will always be biased. As new members come in, soon that 11 - 5 vote will become 11 - 35.
Fuck it. shit keeps falling through for me. One thing after another, ya know? I don't even feel like being my random self anymore. Too many things in the past few months that've been weighing on my mind. I'll avoid details, since it's unlike me to talk about my personal life. I like to avoid it. but just know, that I haven't been in my usual state of mind, although I've been trying.
It's rather futile of me. But through my life, I've always worked hard to get that 1 person out of a hundred, who hated me so much, to be my friend. Now I've got 5 people out of 25, on a board as close-knit as family. It really hurts, but what have I done to deserve less?
The part that hurts the most, is that I know that I have no chance to change their minds. In person, making friends is so easy for me. I can make anyone's day better. But when it's on a message forum, fuck...it loses everything about it that makes it easier. I'm just another name. I've got no image to tie to a personality, or anything that puts me in the place of a real person.
Whatever, I'm droning on about nothing. Sorry.