[Velvet]

1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:

a) Lovemaking
B) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
B) Your blood-test results
c) Five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:

a) Your partner climaxes first
B) You both climax simultaneously
c) You don't miss SportsCenter

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a) Healthy, creative love-play
B) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

a) The best part of the experience
B) The second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:

a) No concern of yours
B) Not a problem - she can join your gym
c) A conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) A myth
B) An oxymoron
c) A moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

a) Appetiser is to entree
B) Priming is to painting
c) A queue is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

a) "I hope we can still be friends."
B) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
B) Is uptight and a waste of time
c) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

If you answered 'A' more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

If you answered 'B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused.

If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, call me up. Let's go drinking.

[leeman]

If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, call me up. Let's go drinking.

Well what's your number then ......??

[Velvet]

anytime your in town lee

[halfasleep]

Am I am "Real Man".... ????





I dunno... I'l have to ask my wife!!!!

[Velvet]

Ohh I think you make it halfasleep

[Bonkyboy]

Oh, I'm sure I qualify. Being divorced eight years has given me lots of time to learn the error of my former "pussy-whipped ways."

Tom Leykus rules!

[Velvet]

Gees sweety .. im sure glad ive got to meet you now as I like you just as you are .

[Bonkyboy]

Tom Leykus rules for dating:

NEVER, EVER date a single mother. You already know her stance on abortion, she wont have one. Don't risk paying vaginamoney! PLUS, her kids will always come before you! Why would you want to be second place to some spoiled little brat!?!


Never do what you don't want to do. You make the money, you decide where you are going and what you are doing.


Don't ask a women what she wants to do.


Never tell a women how much money you make.


Don't EVER date co-workers! Unless you don't give a rats ass about your job, stay away from people you work with! It's always asking for trouble.


Never answer the phone, or go out on the weekend. Even if you really don't, you have to make it appear as though you have better things to do than be with her on the weekends.


Never spend more than 40 bucks on a date. This includes buying gifts, flowers, candy, jewelry, etc. It does NOT help in getting laid. It's a waste of money. If anything, buy alcohol and get her drunk.


NEVER approach a woman in a club who has her girlfriends with her. There is NO point, you will NOT get laid when women are in groups.


If you are not getting laid by the 3rd date, dump her and move on.


No spooning, no cuddling, no staying over. Get in, get out!


Never be in a committed relationship UNTIL you are really ready to settle down.


NEVER answer the phone on the weekends. It makes you look like you have nothing better to do. Weekends should be reserved for hanging out with your buddies or for guaranteed sex. Even if you really have nothing to do, let the answering machine take the call. You're busy.


Don't speak to women you work with unless it's related directly to work. Don't date them. Don't tell them they look nice. Don't comment on anything except whatever work needs you have, because you're a walking lawsuit waiting to happen.