[PurpleHaze]

My uncle (not blood) is 25% Native American, but this fucker thinks he's 150%. He's crazy. His whole purpose in life is to paint pictures of Indians and sell them at pow-wows. I'm not making this shit up.

The day of my sister's wedding he had to take a dump on the way to the church, and he knew he wasn't going to make it all the way there before having to pinch a loaf. He had my dad pull over at McDonalds so he could shit, but the men's room was locked. At this point, apparantly the poo was taking control over his sphincter muscles, so he waddled to the women's bathroom and before he could even make it to the toilet he had to pull down his pants and shit on the floor. He left it there. When he was at my sister's wedding I could see what looked to be mud on his pants legs, it turns out it was shit.

Does that qualify?

Are you for real?! He told you guys this?