[Flumper Barflusterbutt]

I'm not a big fan of dogs, they smell and are dumb like tombstones. nyhow..mmh wait it would be a little one because I don't want to face an angry pitbull who had just been sodomized.

Better to recycle the old standards :

little dog + duct tape (so he doesn't explode). Double plus you can do something else once you've put the doggie on your slong. I wouldn't think that fucking a big dog is somewhat practical.

Anyhow I think that this is illegal in most countries in the world you know.

Much better answer. And don't worry about breaking the laws, this is only hypothetical.