[Vitamin E]

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about
1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered
the money his parents gave him.

Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he
says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education
are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here
that will teach Ole Blue how to talk!"


"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do
I get him in That program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says,
"I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/
3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy
calls his father again.

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but
you just won't believe this! They've had such good results
with this program, that they've implemented a new one to
teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have
to do to get him in that program?"

"Just send $1,500, I'll get him in the class."

His father sends the money.

The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his
father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read.
So he shoots the dog.

When he gets home, his father is all excited.
"Where's Ole Blue? I Just can't wait to see him talk and
read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This
morning, when I got out of the shower, Ole Blue was in the
living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the
morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me
and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that
little redhead who lives on Oak Street?"

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that damned dog
before he talks to your Mother!"
I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy."