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I am a lobster
#1

I am way too damn sunburnt right now this sucks. All I need is some rubberbands around my hands and I would be a human lobster

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#2

Jump into the boiling pan then ....

Why do I keep this cesspool alive?
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#3

I wouldn't taste good, and probably shipped out to some 3rd world country along with the Michael Phelps cereal

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#4

you can get a sunburn in washington?
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#5

When you are three shades lighter than chalk you can even in overcast weather

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