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Occasionally
#1

I like to text message my friends while I'm pooping. Today was one of those days. I texted my friend Jason. It went like this:

Me: Hey you fucking faggot! I'm shitting right now.

Jason: Thats hot. May I hold your penis.

Unfortunately the response gave me a stiffy. I jacked my cock in response, and sent him this message:

Me: I just completed.

Jason: I don't believe you.

I then sent him a pic of my cock with seed gravy spilling out of my head. I don't think he'll want to be friends with me anymore.
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#2

You can call me "Jason" if you'd like.

BIRD33 Wrote:Im guessing BEW's vag loks like a hotdog that exploded in the microwave.
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#3

TomFoolery Wrote:You can call me "Jason" if you'd like.

and you can call me Al
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#4

smokeabowl Wrote:and you can call me Al

Back in High School there used to be a group of special ed kids that would assemble near my 1st period class. There was this autistic kid named Todd Dornack that would constantly hum that Paul Simon song while banging his head against a brick wall.

Every time I hear that song I think of that dude getting the shit kicked out of him by that wall. Rack Todd Dornack!

BIRD33 Wrote:Im guessing BEW's vag loks like a hotdog that exploded in the microwave.
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#5

TomFoolery Wrote:Back in High School there used to be a group of special ed kids that would assemble near my 1st period class. There was this autistic kid named Todd Dornack that would constantly hum that Paul Simon song while banging his head against a brick wall.

Every time I hear that song I think of that dude getting the shit kicked out of him by that wall. Rack Todd Dornack!

Your stories got me crushin' boo.
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#6

Jason just wrote me back. He told me he's sorry and that doesn't like looking at my penis with pre-cum spitting out of it. He also invited me over to watch the MNF game and smoke a bunch of pot. I might go, but I'll probably send him back a message stating I can't promise I won't keep my penis out of his general region.
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