03-11-2004, 07:46 PM
I`m going away for the weekend to my mates stag do (batchelor party) so I won`t be back on the site until Tuesday. I thought Iwould leave you all these funnies till then, adios.
I saw a fat woman wearing a
sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one
and asked him to forgive me.
My mum was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice.
For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go
swimming.
>
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get
On with my real ladder.
>
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I
ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
>
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably
why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
S.e.x is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better
have a good hand.
>
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour
said 'Are you going to help?'
I said 'No, Six should be enough.'
>
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of
meat?
>
> I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and
give the wrong answers.
>
> You know that look women have when they want s.e.x? Me neither.
I saw a fat woman wearing a
sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one
and asked him to forgive me.
My mum was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice.
For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go
swimming.
>
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get
On with my real ladder.
>
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I
ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
>
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably
why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
S.e.x is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better
have a good hand.
>
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour
said 'Are you going to help?'
I said 'No, Six should be enough.'
>
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of
meat?
>
> I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and
give the wrong answers.
>
> You know that look women have when they want s.e.x? Me neither.